Tuesday, December 26, 2006

OVER.

The holiday, it is over.

What a huge relief. I'd like to say I pulled it together and got everything done but HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! No. Not so much. I've thought about doing New Years' baking this year instead of the more traditional Christmas baking but that probably won't happen either. Someone at work suggested Martin Luther King Jr. baking. That may be more realistic. Except, if it doesn't get done by New Years', it won't be getting done at all. Let's at least try to be a little realistic here.

As far as Christmas goes though it was nice. Family, food, fun. Several Christmas miracles occurred and I appreciated them all.

One was the fact that for the first time ever I had to shop on Christmas Eve. Never have I left shopping until then. But the real miracle was the stores were less busy than on your average Sunday afternoon. That and I managed to get everything I set out for. See? CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

The other was coming home to a clean house. Now I do use this term lightly as it only covers the downstairs but people! The kids and husband cleaned the downstairs and made sure there were clean dishes and utensils for Christmas dinner. MIRACLE!

There was one other miracle but I can't speak of that here. Just know it was a good one.

Can't forget, not a miracle but a surprise none the less, I forgot to drink on Christmas day. Christmas eve I had a couple of peppermint patty martinis (Rumplemintz may be too strong for this drink - just saying) and mmmmm.... tasty. I also played the traditional cards with the husband and my brother. So it was fun and a tradition we've kept.

Speaking of traditions... thank God for the kids. They were kind enough to remind me (before dinner was started) that we always have Chinese food Christmas eve. Not sure how I forgot that one. But it was so, so good and I didn't have to cook. YAY!

We also decorated the tree Christmas eve like tradition (or my laziness) dictates, even though last year we did it earlier.

Honestly? I'm glad it's over. The pressure's off, the kids have new stuff to keep them busy and I get to go back to work which is completely dead right now.

So that was my holiday. How was your's?

Saturday, December 23, 2006

To Make Your Christmas Merrier

I mentioned I've been drinking? Up until now it's been mostly Mike's Hard Limes. Tomorrow I'm trying something different.

While tracking Santa try this drink:

What I call a Peppermint Patty Martini

1 oz. Svedka Vodka (new, I'm trying it for the first time)
1/2 oz. Rumplemintz
1/2 oz. Creme de Cacao (some random brand Boston something-or-other - all they had at the store)

Every damn recipe I googled gave me different amounts and ingredients. I'm working with what I have on hand (and what I picked up tonight at the packy). Will have to taste test. I'll give you an update tomorrow and let you know my preferred amounts.

Edited to add:
The Boston Somthing-or-other brand was a no go. Returned for Dekuyper's clear Creme de Cacao.

New recipe that has been tried is:
1 oz. vodka
1 oz. Rumplemintz (who the hell can do 1/2 ounce - why even bother)
2 oz. Dekuyper's Creme de Cacao

Mmmmm... tasty.

Merry Christmas!

Don't forget to keep track of Santa today.
Norad Santa Tracking

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Monday, November 27, 2006

Question for you - no, YOU.

Question: Have any of you ever written a successful romance book, story, etc? Did it sound good in your head but horrifically cheesy while you were writing it? Or is that just me.

Must note: I'm not attempting to write a romance thing. It just sort of popped into my head and wouldn't leave until I wrote it down. Now I must decide whether I should "lose" it or not.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Poor Penguins

An article on MSN caught my eye this morning and I sent the link to my husband. I sent it to him because this type of thing always leaves me outraged and stunned. The world is so messed up and people just continue to surprise me with this type of behavior.

The ensuing IM was very funny and I wanted to post it here (even though in the past this type of thing has failed miserably) but my subconscious saved you all and I closed the window before copying it. That coupled with the fact I never have the computer save my conversations has put a damper on the whole thing. But! I will not be stopped (even though part of my brain is screaming to do just that).

So...

I may have mentioned that people are idiots and my husband may have mentioned that some people may think I'm an idiot. Then he brought up something about people's morals and how not everyone is willing to let things that go against their beliefs...

It was at this point that I interrupted him with something about people being morally against gay penguins. Then the conversation degenerated into him laughing and me making comments about all the gay penguins being sinners and how they were all going to hell.

It was funny. Trust me. Unless you're morally against gay penguins.

Sorry, it's all I got.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Just the Facts

So much news.

So little time. Ok, really: So much laziness.

So much for the truth. Now onto facts...

Fact #1: I now have Fridays off. OFF. O.F.F.
I added an hour to my work day Monday-Thursday and have Fridays OFF. I'm giddy with the freedom. Same # of hours a week only 4 days instead of 5. Well, I was working 6 days a week because of my other job but now it is just Sun - Thursday. Two whole days off! Whooohoooo! A day to do laundry and dishes, schedule appointments and shop. Today was my first Friday off, actually, last Friday was my first Friday off but it was before I asked to change my hours. It was just suppose to be a one time deal because of Fact #2 (see below). It worked though and now it is permanent. Unless it doesn't work out. Then it is un-permanent. But for now, it's happening. And I am giddy. I actually feel like I'm playing hooky or something. Like I'm skipping out even though I put in my hours this week. A day off! For real! Giddy, I tell you.

I stayed in my pj's until 2 and did laundry and dishes and picked up the house a bit. My God! I had forgotten the loveliness that is being alone.

Fact #2: TJ had his adnoids out last Friday.
I wasn't really going to write about it because:

A) Respecting his privacy and all.

B) It is very minor surgery that I was anxious about (because I'm a mom). That and the fact they give you a month to entertain every horror you've ever heard about and some you just make up in your head. A month! Why, oh why, can they not just schedule surgery for the day after it is decided the child needs it? Why? My anxiety would have not had a chance to gather its forces and strangle me with fear.

So now you are asking why? Why am I writing about it. Well because. The child asked me if I was going to and when I said no he said I should and he wanted me to. So... there you have it.

Now for the fun part of fact #2: My son was drunk and seeing double and it was FUNNY.
They gave him some medication to take the edge off before the surgery and watching it take affect may have made me forget a bit of the anxiety... until they rolled him away. He told us the ceiling was pulsating and we looked weird. And then he giggled. When the anesthesiologist came by to check on him he giggled some more and pointed at him. Then he told him he had 4 eyes and 2 noses. Then more giggling may have occurred. It was really very entertaining. There was also a moment when my husband took off his baseball cap, held it out next to him and said, "Meet my friend." TJ made a horrified face. Then we all collapsed into a fit of giggles. Or maybe that was just me. It was funny. Trust me. Possibly the second best part of the whole day. Or maybe the third. The first being TJ making to the bathroom and back without throwing up or passing out. The second being spending the day on the couch with him watching movies we'd rented just for the occasion.

Fact #3: I'm a terrible, no good, very bad parent.
As an early Hanukkah present we took the older two to a concert. Their first concert. TJ's favorite musician.

First, we walked a half mile in the rain, stood in a very long line in the rain before getting in and then power walked back to the car (in the rain) after the show. All this the DAY AFTER TJ's surgery. In our defense, we bought the tickets a couple of months ago and promptly forgot all about them. I scheduled the surgery about a month later and STILL did not realize about the concert/surgery coinciding until the week before when my SIL mentioned the show. At which point I shrieked, "WE CAN NOT GO. My baby is having SURGERY." And there was much eye rolling for all the drama by the other family members. And to be fair, the Dr. okayed it if he was feeling up to it. It was not decided until the final moments whether or not we really were going to go but he insisted he was ok, so go, we did.

The other reason I was the T,NG,VB Parent was the show was Ben Folds. Tell me, have any of you seen Ben Folds in concert?

I am so not up with things. (Also known as Fact #4)

It was at a local college and it was a good show. It was fun and BF seemed to be having fun and I was enjoying myself until... until the major swearing started and I got a bit uncomfortable seated next to my 10 & 11 year olds. And then, the inappropriate song (**warning: not work or kid safe**) started. The inappropriate song was being sung in good fun and all - but to quote my sister-in-law, "I was very uncomfortable during that last song." To which I replied, "Try being their mother and listening to that while sitting next to them." To which my husband replied, "I pretended I was somewhere else. What else could I do."

I was sure CPS would be waiting at our door when we got home. Fortunately, so far it has not seemed to harm TJ's health any and as far as "the song" goes, we have decided to never speak of it again.

And that is all. For now.

I must get back to my Laundry! and Cooking! and caring of the children! for now they are home again and I am no longer alone.

Just the Facts

So much news.

So little time. Ok, really: So much laziness.

So much for the truth. Now onto facts...

Fact #1: I now have Fridays off. OFF. O.F.F.
I added an hour to my work day Monday-Thursday and have Fridays OFF. I'm giddy with the freedom. Same # of hours a week only 4 days instead of 5. Well, I was working 6 days a week because of my other job but now it is just Sun - Thursday. Two whole days off! Whooohoooo! A day to do laundry and dishes, schedule appointments and shop. Today was my first Friday off, actually, last Friday was my first Friday off but it was before I asked to change my hours. It was just suppose to be a one time deal because of Fact #2 (see below). It worked though and now it is permanent. Unless it doesn't work out. Then it is un-permanent. But for now, it's happening. And I am giddy. I actually feel like I'm playing hooky or something. Like I'm skipping out even though I put in my hours this week. A day off! For real! Giddy, I tell you.

I stayed in my pj's until 2 and did laundry and dishes and picked up the house a bit. My God! I had forgotten the loveliness that is being alone.

Fact #2: TJ had his adnoids out last Friday.
I wasn't really going to write about it because:

A) Respecting his privacy and all.

B) It is very minor surgery that I was anxious about (because I'm a mom). That and the fact they give you a month to entertain every horror you've ever heard about and some you just make up in your head. A month! Why, oh why, can they not just schedule surgery for the day after it is decided the child needs it? Why? My anxiety would have not had a chance to gather its forces and strangle me with fear.

So now you are asking why? Why am I writing about it. Well because. The child asked me if I was going to and when I said no he said I should and he wanted me to. So... there you have it.

Now for the fun part of fact #2: My son was drunk and seeing double and it was FUNNY.
They gave him some medication to take the edge off before the surgery and watching it take affect may have made me forget a bit of the anxiety... until they rolled him away. He told us the ceiling was pulsating and we looked weird. And then he giggled. When the anesthesiologist came by to check on him he giggled some more and pointed at him. Then he told him he had 4 eyes and 2 noses. Then more giggling may have occurred. It was really very entertaining. There was also a moment when my husband took off his baseball cap, held it out next to him and said, "Meet my friend." TJ made a horrified face. Then we all collapsed into a fit of giggles. Or maybe that was just me. It was funny. Trust me. Possibly the second best part of the whole day. Or maybe the third. The first being TJ making to the bathroom and back without throwing up or passing out. The second being spending the day on the couch with him watching movies we'd rented just for the occasion.

Fact #3: I'm a terrible, no good, very bad parent.
As an early Hanukkah present we took the older two to a concert. Their first concert. TJ's favorite musician.

First, we walked a half mile in the rain, stood in a very long line in the rain before getting in and then power walked back to the car (in the rain) after the show. All this the DAY AFTER TJ's surgery. In our defense, we bought the tickets a couple of months ago and promptly forgot all about them. I scheduled the surgery about a month later and STILL did not realize about the concert/surgery coinciding until the week before when my SIL mentioned the show. At which point I shrieked, "WE CAN NOT GO. My baby is having SURGERY." And there was much eye rolling for all the drama by the other family members. And to be fair, the Dr. okayed it if he was feeling up to it. It was not decided until the final moments whether or not we really were going to go but he insisted he was ok, so go, we did.

The other reason I was the T,NG,VB Parent was the show was Ben Folds. Tell me, have any of you seen Ben Folds in concert?

I am so not up with things. (Also known as Fact #4)

It was at a local college and it was a good show. It was fun and BF seemed to be having fun and I was enjoying myself until... until the major swearing started and I got a bit uncomfortable seated next to my 10 & 11 year olds. And then, the inappropriate song (**warning: not work or kid safe**) started. The inappropriate song was being sung in good fun and all - but to quote my sister-in-law, "I was very uncomfortable during that last song." To which I replied, "Try being their mother and listening to that while sitting next to them." To which my husband replied, "I pretended I was somewhere else. What else could I do."

I was sure CPS would be waiting at our door when we got home. Fortunately, so far it has not seemed to harm TJ's health any and as far as "the song" goes, we have decided to never speak of it again.

And that is all. For now.

I must get back to my Laundry! and Cooking! and caring of the children! for now they are home again and I am no longer alone.

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Look me! Still alive. I'm as surprised as you - maybe more. I wasn't sure I would make it through the last couple of weeks. I don't think I've ever been that busy. Ever.

The stress! GAH! And I'm not talking about sock stress either. No sock was harmed during the stress. I kept far away from the sock.

As for what was causing all of the stress? I think I've blocked most of it from my mind. I know Halloween was in there. There was a road rally that my husband and I planned with some friends. Family portraits. Blood, stitches, Dr. appointments, class parties, book fairs, work, not sure what else. But all of that? At the same time? TOO MUCH TO DO ALL AT ONCE. And I totally deserve to use caps here so back off.

Now all we have left this month is surgery, Thanksgiving, and a new nephew to be born any time between now and December 1st-ish. (It is a baby after all. They're not so good with time and calendars and such.)

One last note... Do you know those people who seem to be moving even though they are standing still? They tend to be a bit high-strung, stressed. They remind me of hummingbirds. Well, starting on Halloween I was one of those people. Me. Vibrating through my days. Me. The person who is usually mellow and relaxed and ok, I'll say it, lethargic. Somehow my cells were vibrating with the stress. And I kept forgetting things. Things like words. Yes, words. (Can you see why I wasn't blogging?) Other things that happened were things like Halloween night going into the fridge and wondering why there was a gallon of cider sitting there. It somehow seemed wrong. And then I remembered... I was suppose to drop it off that morning for one of the kids' Halloween parties at school. There was also the day I forgot all about the stitch removal appointment and then rescheduled it for the day/time I was suppose to help set up the book fair at the primary school.

But today, today I'm not vibrating. Things are finally settling down. All I have today is work until 2, bank, gas, home, pick up child from cub scouts at 4:30, karate at 5, another kid to cub scouts at 6:30. Oh, and feed them all dinner and vote. And let's not forget homework. But I'll get into that another day.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Where I tell all...

Ah ha! Someone asked and now I tell...

1. The worm farm: A friend was designing PR materials for a worm farm and needed photos of worms and worm poop. So that is the worm farm story. Odd and actually interesting (they sell to golf courses, landscapers & hotels and such). Worm poop - help your garden grow. Also, it is unbelievably hard to light worms and their poo. Really. Although, I must point out that lighting is not my strong suit and it's been about a million years since I was in school. It falls under the category of "I know it can be done - just not by me." That was really my mantra in college. I knew my visions could be realized and I knew people who could pull them off. I just wasn't one of them. Add this to the list of reasons I never made it in photography.

2. The wooden ax: For those not in the know (everyone but family and CursingMama), TJ threw a wooden ax at AJ in anger. Apparently they were playing war with some of the neighborhood kids and AJ "shot" his brother. TJ did not want to be shot so he threw the item in his hand. That happened to be a wooden ax from the Renaissance Festival. After turning and ducking, AJ got beaned in the back of the head. He now has 1 stitch (yes, just one) which I forgot to take him to get removed yesterday. I know, you are stunned by my superior parenting.

The punishment for that act was being my slave for a couple of days. The house was quite clean and the child learned to do laundry but alas, such slave owning is quite time consuming so it had to end. Also, the best punishment was when they both came into the house to tell on/defend TJ and AJ removed his hands from the back of his head. Head wound = horror movie amounts of blood. They both screamed as if they had lost an appendage at the exact same time. Here it should be noted that TJ's not so good with the blood thing. It took me longer to calm down his hysterical crying, dry heaving and hyperventilating then it did to calm the injured party. He is still visibly shaken when the incident is mentioned.

3. DKM: Anyone who has been around since last year may already know this one. Dropkick Murphys. We bought tickets this year. And - I am officially old. I loved the show but it was so loud that the lyrics were unintelligible and a couple of songs just degenerated into noise. See - OLD. But the bagpipes rocked and that is when I decided more men should wear kilts.

4. Knitting: This was not on the list but I'm putting it here anyway. I've been knitting. And frogging. A lot of frogging. My non-existent sock (see "lots of frogging"). And now a new purse. I love knitting purses. And I love this yarn. The warmth and felting ability of wool without the allergy medication needed to work with it.

All in all I'm horrifically stressed. Too many things coming up too fast and no money to smooth the transitions. GAH! Now to reschedule the stitch removal!

Where I tell all...

Ah ha! Someone asked and now I tell...

1. The worm farm: A friend was designing PR materials for a worm farm and needed photos of worms and worm poop. So that is the worm farm story. Odd and actually interesting (they sell to golf courses, landscapers & hotels and such). Worm poop - help your garden grow. Also, it is unbelievably hard to light worms and their poo. Really. Although, I must point out that lighting is not my strong suit and it's been about a million years since I was in school. It falls under the category of "I know it can be done - just not by me." That was really my mantra in college. I knew my visions could be realized and I knew people who could pull them off. I just wasn't one of them. Add this to the list of reasons I never made it in photography.

2. The wooden ax: For those not in the know (everyone but family and CursingMama), TJ threw a wooden ax at AJ in anger. Apparently they were playing war with some of the neighborhood kids and AJ "shot" his brother. TJ did not want to be shot so he threw the item in his hand. That happened to be a wooden ax from the Renaissance Festival. After turning and ducking, AJ got beaned in the back of the head. He now has 1 stitch (yes, just one) which I forgot to take him to get removed yesterday. I know, you are stunned by my superior parenting.

The punishment for that act was being my slave for a couple of days. The house was quite clean and the child learned to do laundry but alas, such slave owning is quite time consuming so it had to end. Also, the best punishment was when they both came into the house to tell on/defend TJ and AJ removed his hands from the back of his head. Head wound = horror movie amounts of blood. They both screamed as if they had lost an appendage at the exact same time. Here it should be noted that TJ's not so good with the blood thing. It took me longer to calm down his hysterical crying, dry heaving and hyperventilating then it did to calm the injured party. He is still visibly shaken when the incident is mentioned.

3. DKM: Anyone who has been around since last year my already know this one. Dropkick Murphys. We bought tickets this year. And - I am officially old. I loved the show but it was so loud that the lyrics were unintelligible and a couple of songs just degenerated into noise. See - OLD. But the bagpipes rocked and that is when I decided more men should wear kilts.

4. Knitting: This was not on the list but I'm putting it here anyway. I've been knitting. And frogging. A lot of frogging. My nonexisitent sock (see "lots of frogging"). And now a new purse. I love knitting purses. And I love this yarn. The warmth and felting ability of wool without the allergy medication needed to work with it.

All in all I'm horrifically stressed. Too many things coming up too fast and no money to smooth the transitions. GAH! Now to reschedule the stitch removal!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Odd...

I must say I'm disappointed that no one asked about the post from Friday. Ya'll asked about the kilts - which HELLO!, kilts are HOTT! Yes, 2 t's HOTT - but not DKM or the worm farm photo shoot or even wooden axes. Here I thought I was being all mysterious but apparently not.

Also, again - why is the kilt thing so mysterious? Have you seen a guy in a kilt? I'm guessing not if you have to ask. Also, if said guy is playing the bagpipes? Well, I really can't say more. It would be inappropriate.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

My PSA

All men should wear kilts with combat boots.

Thank you, that is all.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Where I Empty My Head To Nobody

It's been so long - so very, very long since I've posted that I'm sure I've lost all my readers. SO! That means I can write anything and no one will be disappointed or bored or judgmental by my ramblings but me. Ah, one way to ease back into blogging. I find when I'm away for more than a couple of days I get self-conscious and don't know where to start so I don't and then time stretches out and it gets harder and harder to begin. But today I begin again!

A hint as to why I've been absent:

Today's actually To-Do List:
  • make lunches

  • send PE excuse (AJ) call school

  • e-mail TJ's teacher about upcoming absences

  • schedule stitch removal (AJ)

  • photo shoot at worm farm

  • pack overnight bags (all)

  • *photos of A &T before dropping them off at friend's (Their 1st dance - AAhhhhh!)

  • grocery shop!!!

  • check mail for YARN!

  • laundry (children need jeans)

  • try to get Nov. 15th off (mom)

  • DKM!!!!
This looks oddly similar to previous days in the past 2 weeks. That is, if you add a couple of doctor appointments, change schedule stitch removal to adenoid removal and added punish child for throwing wooden ax at brother.

Now I must really get back to work (as in my actual job that I get paid for)...

*Note: I have already accomplished the 1st 3. Still need to get to the rest!

Friday, September 29, 2006

Best Lines Ever

Addison: "I need the day off."

Dr. Webber: "What for?"

Addison: "For drinking."

Monday, September 25, 2006

The Horror

As a parent I want my kids to grow bigger than I am. I've always known they will someday grow taller and bigger and stronger.

So tell me why I freaked out a couple of weeks ago when my oldest, my 11 1/2 year old, needed ADULT size sneakers. It's not like I didn't know it was going to happen.

Then, just as I'm beginning to accept the boy has man size feet he deals me another blow.

He was getting ready to leave for Temple Saturday morning (it's Rosh Hashanah people) and put on his "dress" shoes. And by dress shoes I mean what qualifies as dress shoes in my boys' world - Land's End All Weather Mocs. They were a bit too big last year and I was confident they would fit him...

Of course, you guessed it, they were too small. But, BUT, he wore mine. MINE. And they were a bit small apparently. SMALL. MY SHOES WERE TOO SMALL FOR MY CHILD.

How does this happen? On the one hand I'm glad. I'm praying all the boys are taller than me & their father. (We've been called the Shetland people by friends because we're both so short.) But on the other hand, MY SON'S FEET ARE THE SAME SIZE AS MINE.

I'm not ready.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

A Bunch of Tangents

I've been writing posts. Really.

Ok, I've writing posts IN. MY. HEAD. almost everyday on my way to work but, well, you know how that goes. By the time I step into my office I've forgotten everything or at the very least I have too much to do to take the time to type it out.

I've even tried jotting notes down for later but that doesn't seem to be working either. And please, dear God, PLEASE, do not suggest recording my thoughts. I tried it back when I was trying to write for magazines and children's books. It works but the thing with recording your thoughts is that then... you have to listen to them.

First of all, things never sound as witty on a recording as in my head.

Second, the sound of my voice makes me want to stick sharp, pointy things into my ears to destroy my eardrums and any chance of having to hear my voice again. How anyone can listen to me speak and not run screaming from the room is beyond me. Seriously. Every time I hear my voice on a recording I never want to inflict that pain on anyone again. A fact my husband will now use against me in instances like last night when he actually said, "Just stop speaking, woman." Ha! All he needed to do was play my recorded voice and it would have shut me up for longer than the 5.6 seconds that I did close my mouth in indignation.

Where was I? Ah yes, blogging. Anyone have any ideas how I can harness my brilliant *cough* thoughts on the drive to work and get them into the computer to entertain the 6 non-family readers I have left after my serious lack of blogging? Holy run on sentence Batman!

Anyway, must go. Karate is calling. No, not for me. One of the littles is about to "try it out" for a class. Any guesses as to the chance he'll not like it?

Friday, September 15, 2006

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Carnage

After making my coffee this morning I came upon this:



I was not too concerned until saw this around the corner of the stairs:



Before I knew it I saw this:



And this:



The victim:



Services will be held tonight at 8pm in the MoMMY household. In lieu of flowers, all contributions can be made to the Children's Television Workshop.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Pissing Me Off


  • The jackhammer outside my office window. Seriously.

  • No budget figures for July. J.U.L.Y.

  • The jackhammer outside my office.

  • The twelve people who haven't given me their paperwork that I need to mail out tomorrow.

  • That damn jackhammer.

  • Meetings the night before the first day of school.

  • The fucking jackhammer. Please God, make it stop...
... can't think. Jackhammer killing me.

Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Made Me Smile*

The Violent Femmes doing a cover of "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me" by Culture Club.

*subtitle: Yes, a HUGE grin. While driving myself to work this a.m.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

A Bit of Catch Up

School starts in 8 days. EIGHT. DAYS. And I'm excited. (Which you expected.) But I'm sad. (Which stuns you.) And it makes me wonder why I didn't go back to work sooner.

The shiny newness and excitement of work has dulled a bit but I still like it most days. The 2 days I spent last week without a single thing to do have been replaced with more than I have time for. Ah, the way this world works always catches me off guard until I think about it and wonder how I could possibly still be surprised.

In other news...
The children are well. Alex did not break his toe. Tyler's migraines are under control. All four children's teeth are clean and x-rayed. And plans for Tyler's birthday party are under way.

No one has killed anyone and they have been playing nicely together. I think it may mean the end of the world is near.

My life, it is exciting.

It is also time to start the planning and preparing for my other job. And, I. AM. NOT. READY. This working thing is really a lot of, well, work.

So now I start the intricate scheduling of the activities. The activities of four active children. Four children that do things like Hebrew school and gymnastics and cub scouts. And now I have a regular job. And the planning for the "other job". And let us not forget the volunteering in the children's classrooms. Yes, I thought I'd get out of it but it seems they will MAKE IT WORK so I can come in to at least my youngest's class to help out. yay.

And also it seems the boys' team at the gym is much larger than in the past. So now, instead of pretty much showing up whenever there is a class scheduled we needed to not only register for class (as in the past) but register ON TIME. This also means the classes we wanted are full. FULL. And I'm really not sure the other classes will work in our schedules. Let's say it together... this causes me S.T.R.E.S.S.

One last thing...
I'm pretty much against the whole concept of Mommy guilt. Nursing vs formula, co-sleeping vs in the crib in another room wars. I don't buy into the whole I need to meet their every single need. Or I yelled at them and now they are scarred. I really try to be a good mom and I think overall I am. Most days. People make mistakes and children learn lessons. (side note: I just spent a very long time looking for my bad Mommy award posts and CAN NOT FIND THEM. So, please imagine me doing dumb things like forgetting to pick my kids up from rollerskating and forgetting to send in special items for school, etc.)

I will say that every now and then I become convinced that I'm forever damaging my children by some behavior or other that they will take to be normal and then will act that way as adults.

For example, we tend to be hard on our oldest. He is responsible and trustworthy and eleven. Sometimes we have been known to yell at him for doing stupid shit. Normal kid stuff. Then he turns around and does the same to his brothers and I cringe. He is so hard on them.

It also shows when he accuses us of being harder on him then the others (we are). I am the oldest and I know part of that is just being the oldest. I also know that I need to back off. And I do try. But some times at night while I'm lying in bed I become convinced that it may be too late. I may have irrevocably damaged him and it is all my fault. He will forever have self-esteem issues. AND IT IS ALL MY FAULT. And I CAN'T FIX IT. I'm TOO LATE.

I have RUINED. MY. CHILD.

And my heart hurts. And I cry. And I feel that sensation of wearing my heart on the outside of my skin and all those cliches of how it feels to be a mother. And I never want to leave them again.

I'm not ready for school to start.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Kid Quotes

These were just reported to me from my husband:
Scene: Van on the way to Vermont. Kids arguing.

TYLER: "Dad, I know you're trying to drown out our voices, but can you please turn the radio down?"
Scene: Top of Mt. Mansfield.

NANA: "Ahhhhhhhhh. Mountains. The greatest thing in the world."

TYLER: "I thought marriage was the greatest thing in the world."
Scene: Hiking down Mt. Elmore

ZACH: "Dad, it's a good thing we're hiking because that boys' bathroom smells Baaaaaaad."

*I must add that neither Jeff nor I really understands what this was suppose to mean. It was very random.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Searching...

I usually try to stay away from seeing the searches that bring people to my site as it tends to disturb me. With all the posts on Google hits people are getting I thought I'd bite the bullet and see how many pervs were searching for "Speedo" and Speedo related searches. Over a year since I wrote the damn post and they are still pouring in. Amazing really.

According to my site meter's keyword stats I may as well be running a porn site. Really.

Did you know that I'm #7 on Google for Mommy got f*cked?

How about that I'm #1 - #1 baby! - for pissing childrens (do I need to say it was not an English version)?

I'm also #3 for hot moms doing it.

Still the most hits come from people looking for Speedo or other less savory Speedo related searches. -- As a side note: This post also generated my first hate mail. Made me laugh really. I even *gasp* responded in the comments because, do I need to say it? The Blogger profile was a fake. I'm sure Robert never came back though because I never heard from him again.

And one of the newest one's I've seen is mom pissing me off. Again, I'm #1 for that. And really, it's no surprise. I'm sure I piss a lot of people off.

My favorite though?

I'm #2 on Ask.com for why does your nose make boogers?

I think that one really captures the spirit of the site.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Knitting!

My God, while she's been gone it's turned into a knitting blog. GAH! Save my eyes!!!!!

But, well... no. Not really.

In reality, I had big hopes for my blogging career this week. The children AND the husband are camping in the wilds of Vermont and I was going to blog, baby!

So what happened you ask?

My internet connect bit it for the last THREE DAYS. I know, it's amazing I'm not dead. Although I think I've lost my last reader. But that's okay because I blog for myself and I care not who reads my blather. Or something like that. Or maybe not. I need affirmation. It's true. Sad. But true.

Anyway, on with the knitting. I'd love to say in my absence I was knitting but alas, no. Not that either. I was actually trying to fix my internet connection and burying myself in sudoku to dull the pain.

But before, before the children left, I was knitting. I've been on a knitting binge! And now to show you what I knit.

First I thought I'd try something easy. Quick. Knit it right up...

Now realize these took me approximately ELEVEN HOURS to make. No, really. I'm totally not joking here. Booties are f'in HARD, man. That and I'm a S-L-O-W knitter.

Then I found a kick ass knitting book called Stitch 'N Bitch. Awesome and cool and oh, so hip. So I tried to make a baby hat for my soon to be nephew. Behold the hat:

Yes, there are two hats. That would be because I made the first one and MY GOD, it fits my 7 year old (except it's too short). So then I made another. Let's hope the baby's head is tiny or it will end up being for one of the kids' dolls.

Also, the photo does not show the true color of the hats. They actually match the booties. So, because I couldn't get a good picture of the hats at their true color - here is a swatch of a color much closer to the real thing - yet frustratingly still not exact:

Now I think I will go to bed and clean tomorrow. I keep saying I'm going to clean the house while thye're gone but I seem to have run out of steam. This may be due to the fact that I'm overdue for my B12 shot and they couldn't fit me in today. WTF? Or maybe I'm just really lazy.

If anyone wants to chat yarn or knitting, let me know. I'm loving the sueded stuff I'm using and adapting patterns (which we can all see is not working out so well). I also pink puffy heart circular needles.

*Please keep in mind I am a novice. Hear me? N.O.V.I.C.E. I do not know what I am doing. Please be kind when judging my knitting. Oh, you know you are. You so totally are judging right now.

**Those last two lines are a take-off on some lines from a movie. But HA! I shall never tell which one.

***Really, I'm not insane. Just tired. My GOD, the tired.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Creative Cycles

Carmi over at Written Inc. was talking about creative cycles this morning and it got me to thinking. Well, actually it hit me over the head and said, "You must expound on this topic." Because really, I've been meaning to do a post on this very thing for years a very long time.

I guess it starts with college. I was an art major so my creativity was being tapped on a regular basis. Once I got out of school I got a job in a creative field. Well, it took a while but it did happen. Then, about 11 years ago I left that job to spend more time with my oldest. I worked with kids and used quite a bit of creativity dealing with them. Plus, I was in a baby fog of love. I was totally in love with my offspring and busy and my god! pregnant by the time he was a year. So busy.

By the time I was pregnant with my third though I was getting the creative itch. So began the scrapbooking. And the writing. I continued with this for a few years and then replaced the scrapbooking with card making because good lord, who has time to scrapbook with 4 kids 5 and under? Cards took less time and you had something you could give away. Fun.

About a year later I was done with cards. Burned out if you will. So I started with the jewelry. And that meant I had gifts for holidays. Bonus! But again, a year later I was burned out.

Then came the web design, marketing my photography and always the writing.

Last year I quit the writing. This year I quit the photography. I write here for myself and photograph when the mood strikes but no more marketing myself. I hate it and it was going nowhere.

The web design has been resurrected for my job and knitting is my new creative outlet at home.

So, what causes this? I have no idea. It may have something to do with the way my brain works. It may just be the way some people are. It's not to say I never make cards or design jewelry but I do them for a specific purpose now. Not just to do them.

As for the scrapbooking... well, let's just say Zach still has no photo album and no baby book. I know. I'm a terrible mom.

But my soon-to-be nephew? He totally has a pair of booties and a new hat!

Ack! This is getting long and not very interesting so I shall go and (I'd like to say knit) clean some more of my house. I'll tell you more about my brain later.

To make this more interesting, I'd like you to tell me what your creative cycles are like. Do you stick to one thing? Do you switch it up? How often? What is your creative passion(s)?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Old News

Whenever I hear something new I always feel like it isn’t really new. It’s more new-to-me and if I mention it everyone will roll their eyes and be all, “Duhhhh! That is so old news.” I think it may have to do with the fact that I spent most of the past 12 years in a kiddy cocoon.

Kiddy cocoon? Let’s put it this way…

In the first 6 years I spent raising my children things CHANGED. No, really. First they had to sleep on their side propped by little foam triangles. You had to keep changing sides so their heads wouldn’t get flat. Then they were supposed to sleep on their backs and Good God DO. NOT. EVER. PUT. THEM. ON. THEIR. STOMACHES. What? Are you trying to kill your child? Then they needed to be on their backs but have tummy time. And then I threw away every last parenting book and magazine and figured if I hadn’t killed the first three, I wouldn’t kill the last one. And that my friends is just putting them down to sleep.

Forget all about the dangers of walkers, the fact that if you used an exersaucer they would never walk, and I’m sure the discussion went on but at this point I decided to stop listening to all the hype and duct tape the children in the exersaucer so they would never walk. End of discussion.

Now we are in the baseball, soccer, gymnastics, swimming lessons, cub scouts, Sunday school, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, orthodontic appointments, and most recently summer school, summer recreation, and tennis lessons.

Hello? I have my hand on the pulse of my calendar. Not anything else in the world. But I’ve started feeling like I’m breaking from the cocoon now that the daily maintenance has diminished.

So what am I trying to say?

I’ve been wanting to comment on things going on in the world but I always feel like the eye rolling will commence and you will all click away in a wave of disgust. I have also decided to start commenting on the world around me again because this is my blog and I think you are all kind enough not to send me photos of the eye rolling (although I’m sure you look pretty doing it – and my, have you lost weight?). At least with the clicking I won’t really know unless you take the time to comment about my untimeliness and really, most of you don’t comment anyway so I don’t see you commenting about this.

But now I must go and post this before it becomes old news.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Bullets

To get that horrible, bad vibe post off the top of the page and without enough time to devote to a real post, I've decided to give you a couple of bullets.

  • I am in the process of switching banks. The evil M&T should be gone from my life in the next 2 or so weeks. 
  • I have been knitting. A lot. I will post some pictures later for your viewing pleasure. Or maybe just for my own damn self so I can remember that I actually MADE stuff. BTW, booties are f'in HARD. And I said booties - hee! 
  • I've been getting B12 shots for the last 3 months. I was weaned down to once a month and I couldn't make it. I hit a wall after 3 weeks. GAH! Now I have to start back at every 2 weeks (and possibly continue with that schedule). I am TIRED. I can't believed I've been living like this for the past however many years. Damn, no wonder everything seemed like such an effort. It was! And I thought I was just lazy. (Which, I am a little but not like I thought.) Now I know how people actually DO things. 
  • August has arrived. And with it the killings begin. - I am not talking about me killing anyone. The children are starting to try to off each other. I expect the conflicts to continue to escalate over the next 4 weeks. All a.m. summer activities end this week. It does not look good. School is our only hope. 
  • How did I survive before I had to leave my family every day for work? This job is helping my sanity on so many levels. Although, I think if I worked full time it might cancel itself out. 

Speaking of jobs...

Bullets

To get that horrible, bad vibe post off the top of the page and without enough time to devote to a real post, I've decided to give you a couple of bullets.
  • I am in the process of switching banks. The evil M&T should be gone from my life in the next 2 or so weeks.

  • I have been knitting. A lot. I will post some pictures later for your viewing pleasure. Or maybe just for my own damn self so I can remember that I actually MADE stuff. BTW, booties are f'in HARD. And I said booties - hee!

  • I've been getting B12 shots for the last 3 months. I was weaned down to once a month and I couldn't make it. I hit a wall after 3 weeks. GAH! Now I have to start back at every 2 weeks (and possibly continue with that schedule). I am TIRED. I can't believed I've been living like this for the past however many years. Damn, no wonder everything seemed like such an effort. It was! And I thought I was just lazy. (Which, I am a little but not like I thought.) Now I know how people actually DO things.

  • August has arrived. And with it the killings begin. - I am not talking about me killing anyone. The children are starting to try to off each other. I expect the conflicts to continue to escalate over the next 4 weeks. All a.m. summer activities end this week. It does not look good. School is our only hope.

  • How did I survive before I had to leave my family every day for work? This job is helping my sanity on so many levels. Although, I think if I worked full time it might cancel it's self out.
Speaking of jobs...

Friday, August 4, 2006

ANGER = RANT =

Go away if you are happy, I do not want to ruin your day.

The anger is giving me a headache. Seriously. And I do not have high blood pressure. Well, until this moment.

When I was a child/teen I would cry when I got really angry. It was an involuntary reaction that usually made me more angry because nothing is worse than being angry at someone and then crying in front of them. I have not cried in anger in years. I’m very close to tears right now.

If M&T bank was a physical entity in front of me right now it would be dead. And dismembered.

I am not exaggerating for effect. I am that angry.

I do not know how they can call what they are doing legal. I just don’t know how this can be an actual business practice. How do they still have customers and how has someone not torched the place yet?

I can’t even call and bitch because I would not be nice and I know the poor person on the phone did not make the rules. It is not their fault and I don’t want to be mean to someone who is just doing their job. Of course if I knew who planned this I would gladly hunt them down and kill them give them an earful.

What is it that I’m so angry about? What has inspired this wrath?

  1. When asking them to send a check to someone they look at the date you enter to pay the bill and then estimate when they need to send it so it will get there on time. What this means: I want a bill sent on 8/4 (Friday, when we get paid) and they send it on 8/1 when there is very little money in our account. You say, adjust your payment schedule. I say, I have always had to figure on the time it takes for a bill to be paid, I should not have to figure out how long THEY think it will take to arrive.

  2. When they send the check on 8/1 they remove the money from our account and put it in a “special” account. Our records show the bill has been paid even if the check hasn’t been cashed. HOW IS THIS LEGAL??? When I asked what happened if someone didn’t cash the check for a month they told me the money sat in the “special” account. Not OUR account. A “special” account. If we wanted we could call and find out if it cleared and if it hadn’t we could stop payment. HELLO? Am I the only one who finds this completely INSANE? We don’t get to know when checks clear unless we CALL THEM? They get to hold our money in this “special” account. What the fuck?

  3. Because of this insanity, they refused to pay 2 of our bills, charged us 2 NSF fees ($19 each) and say our account is $400 overdrawn. They also show that we have $600 in our overdraft account (not being used). If they had proceeded in a sane, coherent, not fucked up way we wouldn’t have even touched the overdraft account. Or they could have paid at least ONE bill. Or they could have jumped off the top of a very tall building so I would not have to hunt them down and KILL THEM.

And NOW, I am ANGRY. Very angry. And NOW, everyone else is pissing me off. I hate people. Not real people as in the poor saps who have to answer the phone when I call just so they can pay their mortgage but the people who came up with this fucked up insanity. Since I’ve been at work I’ve gotten angry at the people behind website designs and the NYS Health people who designed some fucked up system they want us to start using and well, EVERYONE who is acting INSANE and FUCKED UP.

I need a drink and it’s only 11 in the morning. And also? I’m afraid to work on anything because everything I touch has gone wrong today.

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

I Am Dead

I melted.

Then I evaporated.

I am now one with the pea soup air. The HOT pea soup air.

Or, I've just been busy.

One of the things that has kept me busy (besides kids and work and the rockin' HARD booties (hee, I said booty) I knit) has been playing a of couple games a company called Snap TV sent me for the kids.

The games are played on the TV with the DVD player and remote. They sent me a game called Eco-Rangers. The verdict from the kids? The questions were good for the 7-11 year olds - too hard for the 5 year old - but the graphics and music were aimed for the younger set. Overall the kids liked it though.

The other game is called family showdown Kids vs Parents. This was fun although the parents don't get a turn until the kids miss a question. This means they can win with the parents never even getting a turn. If it switched after the each level I think it would be more interactive and entertaining for everyone. Other than that though, the kids enjoyed it. The questions worked for everyone (remember we had all age groups) although it seemed some of the kids' questions were harder than the parents'. Again, it was fun. We all played together and enjoyed ourselves.

Overall I would check out other games by Snap TV. The kids liked them although they were educational and with my kids that's a hard sell.

So there is my bit of selling myself for free games for the kids. Now I must feed the children and take them to soccer. Of course, I'm dead, so this is going to be tough.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Where I Write of Which I Know Nothing

Look! Another post from me! In less than a week! It's a blogging miracle. Or just the fact that the husband is away with the 2 older children for a couple of days and I'm slacking off on my mom/wifely duties. Whatever.

So what great thrilling creative funny interesting thing am I going to blather on about today?

Music. Yes, I know. You hardly ever hear anything about music from me unless it is about OLD music that brings me back to those embarrassing 80's...
BTW, tangent here, what is with the 80's styles coming back? Skinny jeans? Leggings under skirts? GAH! Wasn't the first time proof that those styles should die a painful and horrible death? It's like looking at my high school yearbook. I am officially OLD.
Anyway, back to music talk. Where was I? Ah, my usual music talk vs today. Not that interesting.

But today, TODAY! I have some newish music you MUST listen to. You know, if you like the same type of music I do. Which, my tastes are fairly eclectic. No, no opera. No country. No bubble gum pop. A few songs here and there penetrate my mostly off center listening tastes. So give it all a try and you may decide you like it. Or at least some of it.

First, you must try listening to a band that has been around since 2002 and hit it big in 2005 - Arctic Monkeys. Yes, I know, you've probably already heard of them. But if you're not listening? Start. Try their album Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not. It's fun, upbeat - great to dance around the kitchen while washing dishes. Not that I do. ehm.

Other music you should be listening to? Citizen Cope. Really, download the CD, The Clarence Greenwood Recordings. It's totally worth it. A bit more mellow than the Arctic Monkeys but really nice. He has another album from 2002, Citizen Cope, but I haven't heard it... yet.

What else have I been downloading over my slacker weekend?
Eyes Closed & Final Straw by Snow Patrol (favorite songs: Hands Open, Open Your Eyes & Chocolate)
St. Elsewhere by Gnarls Barkley (favorite song: Crazy).

All of the above are quite different from each other so if you don't like one, give another a try. Also, I realize I have not given great descriptions of each. Just know, my musical prowess is nonexistent. I know nothing other than I like it or I don't. I have no talent for analyzing it.

Now, listen. Then go forth and download. It shall make you happy.

Oh, and tell me what you're listening to.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Still Not Dead

I bet you totally thought I was dead this time. You did, didn't you? Well, I'm not. So, HA!

Guess I'm feeling a bit feisty. That and it's past my bedtime and I'm tired. So instead of sleeping I'm blogging and feeling feisty and feeling a bit like a zombie with the tiredness.
  • The job? Very cool. I still feel like an idiot more than I'd like but my bosses seem happy. Things are moving along.

  • The house? This kids are cleaning it. Yes, you read that correctly. THE. KIDS. ARE. CLEANING. THE. HOUSE. I did not say well. Or all. But they are cleaning things like their rooms (Whooo! Never done before!) and the toilets & bathroom sinks (better than me not getting to them) and even dusting and swiffering the living and dining room. No, really. I'm not lying. How am I getting them to do all this? I'm not. The people caring for my children while I'm at work are. That and bribery. No electronics until chores are done. Oh, and if you're thinking I'm some mean ogre making them slave away? Realize that there are 4 of them. One day's chores? 2 kids clean 2 toilets (1 each), 2 kids clean 2 sinks (1 each). Another day? One kid collects garbages from around house. One empties them all into kitchen garbage. Two kids take them & recycling to curb. Selling my kids into child slavery? Not so much. But the results are stunning. (comparatively speaking)

  • The sports? GAH! The never ending baseball has ended. The all-day/every-day soccer has started. The summer rec and tennis lessons and golf lessons and gymnastic lessons and scout camp have started. Soon summer school starts. At least it keeps them from killing each other. Although, that to has started. Hmmmm, I thought it would hold off until August at least but really? No. It has begun.

  • My sanity? Eh. Feeling sane but realizing a few things about how my brain works and how that may not be exactly normal. I shall save this for another post. Ha! I just made myself laugh. Another post. Guess I'm feeling optimistic.
And with that I shall go to bed. (After I clean the kitchen. Note to self: add kitchen duties to children's to do list.)

Sunday, July 2, 2006

PMS, Partying & Pissing Me Off

It appears that the cranky, crying mess I was is indeed attributable to PMS. And yes, I'm feeling much better today. Or maybe it was the night of drinking and partying at some newish friends'. A great place where kids roam free, fireworks go off, and alcohol flows freely. Also a great place to eat cherries off the trees and smash unripe crab apples with a bat. Well, great if you're into that sort of thing (my children seem to be into this type of entertainment).

There was also karaoke. I've never done karaoke and neither have the children but they loved it. Also? My threshold for not embarrassing myself and family is apparently 3 jello shooters. Yes, I caved. But only after the previously mentioned 3 shooters in three minutes. Luckily they were all watching the fireworks so there shouldn't be any permanent scaring. Also, there is no proof I even did it. So maybe I didn't really do it after all... hmmm... you'll never know.

I must also say here that I have finally found 2 friends that like to have a stiff drink now and then. It has taken me SIX. YEARS. of living here to find them. And one is moving to South Carolina this summer. I am very sad. The remaining two of us may need to drown our sorrows in a nice strong jello shooter in her honor when she is gone. After we get the killer recipe she used.

In other news, the banking fiasco is worse than we thought. They want to charge us for paying our bills online. CHARGE US! I'm ready to storm the castle walls and lay siege on them. Or switch banks. You know. Whatever works. Although, in researching other area banks? They all seem to have some major flaw in their plans. Let's just say I'm even angrier at - we'll call it - Schmitibank than I was before. They offered us all we wanted in a bank and then they abandoned us to M&Tickmeoff without a care in the world. Anyone have any recommendations?

Must go write a grocery list before I start throwing things.

Saturday, July 1, 2006

Alone

I think it's time I moved to a deserted island.

Why won't everyone leave me ALONE?

Also, it may have to do with the fact I have no social skills and possibly even, what seems to be, PMS.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Is Today Over Yet?

So it isn't my best day. Or my worst. But it is definitely on the low end of the scale.

What? You say you are having a worse day? Huh? Huh?

Well, maybe you are. So, if that is the case, I hope this day ends soon for both of us.

Why has today been so crappy? Well, let me tell you. You don't care? Then go. Somewhere. Else. I must vent.

So I got up late. And would someone please tell me if a bad day has ever started when you got up on time. Where was I? Late, yes. I then proceeded to spill coffee down my front while driving to work. Genius, I know. But then, THEN, I remembered that Tide pen thing I bought forever ago and have never used. And it just so happen to be in the purse I was carrying. What good fortune. Except when you spill coffee on a light blue shirt and then put whatever chemicals are in that pen on it, you look like you were trying to enter a wet t-shirt contest by the time you get to work. So yes, I was driving down the expressway drawing all over my shirt with a bright orange pen that was making my shirt see-through. Ah, good times.

For the rest of the morning I hid in my office trying to cover myself every time someone came into my office. The stuff did dry but let me tell you something - the pen? DID. NOT. WORK. I'm not quite sure that spreading the stain around is a success. Apparently the pen just uses the liquid in it to spread the stain into an ever widening area. Pretty.

Then I realized I published a page on our intranet earlier this week that should not have been published and the existing pages are GONE and they only publish on Tuesday and Thursday nights and Tuesday is a holiday so I'm betting it won't be fixed then and besides that I have nothing to replace the horror with. Oh, and I'm still not sure how the damn system works there. MY GOD I AM AN IDIOT. And now they will all find out and fire me. See? Not a good day.

Also, the banking fiasco is still going on and I came home to yet another child with a fever and we are suppose to have errand day today and buy things like groceries so we can do things like eat but we need to use cash and I hate cash with a fiery passion and if we do not buy my 7 year old cleats today it will be the end of the world and I CAN NOT FOCUS ON ANYTHING.

Maybe I'm dying. Dying of a shitty day.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Not Dead

So yes, I'm still alive. I know you're all thinking that I must have something terribly witty or charming to say to herald my return but the truth is... no. You can go now. My feelings won't be hurt (much). I'm back to bore you with bullet points! Because bullet points are our friends. No, you say? Well, they are my friends. I like them. In fact, my many lists use bullet points. My notes at work use bullet points. My life is a series of bullet points right now. So, that explains the format of this post. And again, if you are looking for witty or charming or insightful? There are some lovely reads in the sidebar.

Stupid things that are messing with my life:
  • Leaving the windows open in my mom's car. And then having it pour BUCKETS. (Please excuse the towels and wetness of my behind.)

  • Rain! And Lightning! And Thunder! (and the men deciding the children should play baseball anyway)

  • Baseball games and 2 soccer practices a night - 4 nights a week. (We have once again run out of adults in our house.)

  • Meetings that I do not need to attend but have to anyway.

  • The fact my bank has sold all it's local branches. What does this mean? It means I have no bank this weekend. I have no money this weekend. I have no DEBIT CARD this weekend (or today because things may not clear in time). I have no checks. I have no new account number. I have to re-set-up (it may not look like a word but I'm saying it is one. Back off.) all my bills to be paid. I have to contact all the companies that take their payments out of the account automatically. I have A LOT of damn paperwork and phone calls and computer time ahead of me. This does not make me happy.

  • The fact that because I am working now I feel I must spend time with my children instead of blogging.

  • The bathrooms are actually dirtier than before I went to work. I did not think it was possible.

  • The fact it is light until 9:30 and the children are NOT SLEEPING.

  • The dog's incessant barking. GAH! Enough already.
Things that make me smile:
  • The boys playing soccer.

  • Alex catching a hit and getting the ball to first base in time to get the batter out.

  • My job.

  • I finally got Dreamweaver at work and am working on our department's intranet pages.

  • The blue sky behind varying shades of lush green.

  • A neighbor saying they "made their money for the day" when the boys show up with a dollar in quarters and dimes and pennies to buy a bag of cherries from the trees in their front yard.

  • Seeing the kids eating the cherries. (which they would never eat had I brought them home from the grocery store)

  • (more with the cherries) Seeing the kids pulling "just one" cherry off the tree and pop it in their mouth every time we walk to the library and back.
I'm hoping to be back a little more often in the coming days, weeks, etc. Wish me luck.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Baby is SIX!

Can you believe a whole week has gone by and I haven't blogged? I can't. And I can't seem to catch my breath. It was a week of adjusting (still haven't). A week of end of school activities. A week of preparing for my baby's 6th birthday. Let me repeat: my BABY'S. SIXTH. BIRTHDAY. GAH!

He gets a party this year. Yes, it's true. My kids only get a "friend" party every other year. Two one year and two the next. I'm mean like that.

So I decided to do an easy party. A baseball party. A party with no annoying little favors. I'll make baseball bracelets! But the stores have no baseball beads. No problem, I'll make baseball beads. And the bracelets. And personalized labels for the water bottles. (According to Zach, we must have water if baseball is being played.)

And no food. Just cake. Cupcakes that look like baseballs. Easy. Party 2-4pm. Water and cupcakes. And the only activity shall be baseball. Piece of cake. I'm brilliant.

HA. It seems I need more time. Time to make bracelets and labels and cupcakes. Time with which I need to grocery shop. And run errands. And maybe clean the bathrooms because I'm pretty sure the grime ate one of the children but I haven't had time to do a head count. Time I still haven't figured out since starting my new job. (Which I still love. Although the excitement over the meetings? Gone. How does anyone accomplish anything with all the meetings? And I'm still not sure WHY I must attend.)

And it seems I am lame. Cupcakes and water are not acceptable party foods. Well, they are acceptable but they are not enough. There must be snacks and there should probably be pizza. And soda. Or juice.

Ah, but why are we here? And what am I doing. There is gymnastics today and a party tomorrow and I'm blogging. GAH!

Friday, June 9, 2006

Off I Go

I'm off to work and then NJ and tomorrow, New York City!

I can't tell you how many years it's been since I've been to the city. Let's just say, way too many. Now, if it pours I believe we may not go. And that will be fine because I get to spend the weekend with 5 of my closest friends in the world and we can have fun on a trip to the grocery store.

So, a weekend of old FRIENDS! and FUN! and DRINKING! and NO! KIDS! and maybe even THE CITY!

Thursday, June 8, 2006

Girls' Weekend

Leaving for Annual Girls' Weekend in less than 24 hours. Still need to:

  1. Do laundry for self.

  2. Iron.

  3. Pack.

  4. Buy Bailey's Irish Creme.

  5. Figure out what I'm going to pack.

This list doesn't include things like:

  1. Feed children many meals.

  2. Clean bathrooms before germs eat children.

  3. SLEEP.

  4. Work.

  5. Invite children to birthday party next weekend.

  6. Start planning party.

  7. Attend baseball games in rain.

  8. etc.

GAH!

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

The End Is Near!

Yesterday while taking the shuttle to work the air conditioner kicked on. It sounded like poisonous gas was being released into the air suddenly. And yes, poisonous gas sounds much different than regular gases. Yes, I know the difference. Don't you? Then apparently you don't watch enough TV.

Anyway, I had this sudden urge to shout, "The end is near!" Looking around I thought the other passengers might not find that amusing. So I sat there pondering why our employer would want to kill us since they need us to work. I then had the urge to scream, "The gas, it shall kill us all!" Again, I weighed what the other passengers' responses might be and decided against it. The urge was strong though.

I also realized they were probably not trying to kill us. The gas was most likely to drug us into being perfect workers. This may be why I feel such enormous and unnatural love for my job. It's the poisonous gas they release on the shuttle ride to work.

Sunday, June 4, 2006

Run Rhymes with Fun - NOT

The amount of bloggers I read that having been running 5k's and 8k's and 10k's and triathlons is starting to frighten me. I kind of thought they were all lounging out at home like I am. I'd be happy to spend very little time in the out of doors. But these people, with all the running... GAH! Making me feel like a slug. And not only do they spend all this time outside - they run while outside.

Have I ever mentioned I don't run?

Bear chasing me? Don't run.

Mad killer wielding a knife? Don't run.

Child with slimy hands while I'm on my way out the door to an adult function? Okay, I walk briskly.

So yes, I'm dead from the bear and the knife wielding killer but no PB&J stains on my clothes.

And NO. RUNNING.

Saturday, June 3, 2006

Thank You

Thanks to any and all of you who donated to WBER. Which, BTW, if you did you should totally tell me so I can lavish you with praise and such. They reached their goal yesterday evening. Everyone was surprised how quickly it happened. They seemed to have expected it to take at least through the weekend and possibly into next week. But no, their listeners are generous and I loved hearing all the stories of how the radio station affected peoples lives. Made the writer in me sit up and take notice. I'm saddest because some years they only got to play two songs and I wanted to hear more. But I am glad they exceeded their goal. So yay! my radio station is saved.

Again, thanks to any and all who donated. We can all keep rockin' on now.

Friday, June 2, 2006

WBER **ADDED TO**

I'd like to introduce you to a great radio station. It's free. It's online. And, if you like the same music I do (alternative), it's got great music.

I'd ment to introduce you to the station before today but I kept forgetting and being sick and all (all praise Zythromax!) I never got around to it.

You may ask why I'm introducing you now... well, besides the fact that I love all of you and want to be able to enjoy great music, they are now having a fundraiser. Yes, I'm asking you to donate. If you enjoy it. It's a commercial free station which I love! I may have even mentioned in the past how much I DESPISE commercials on the radio. And, I'm too cheap/poor for that Sirius stuff.

One of the best parts of this fundraiser? The station is 20 years old this year. They started playing music from 1985 until they raised the first $1000. Now they are playing music from 1986 until they receive another $1000. You can even check their progress online. The fundraiser started at 6 this morning. Right now I'm listening to Big Mouth Strikes Again by The Smiths. Ah, 1986 - my youth.

So, take a break from licking your speakers when you hear the greatness and donate. We will all be richer for it. And if you can't/don't want to donate? You can still enjoy the greatness and a trip down memory lane.

**While thinking about this station there was so much I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you about the times they let local high school students DJ and about how they cover the local & indie music scene and, and, and... And then I remembered, this is the radio station that sent us to see the Dropkick Murphys. Oh how I love thee.

**It is now 1988. The year I graduated high school. God I'm old.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

Eyeball Jelly and Razor Blades

Blinding headaches continue. Apparently while I was at work yesterday someone stuffed my sinus cavities with razor blades. My body has conceded defeat. It is welcoming death. My brain, however, has scheduled an appointment with a physician. We are hoping he will prescribe some razor blade/green snot killer, also known as antibiotics. Now I just have to get the littles and myself ready for the day and go to work. Work, a place that I am loving but will have to be productive at. Maybe my brain should have joined my body and just raced to the finish line. At least then I could get some rest without what was apparently Zach making good on his threat to squeeze the jelly out of my eyeballs. Guess I should let him do whatever he wants today so he will stop with the squeezing.

Time to wake the littles...

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The end.

The green snot (sorry mom) is trying to kill me. It will not leave. It also gave me a blinding headache this morning from all its pushing on my brain. I surrender. It may take over my body now. I can not possibly work and get everything else done while it is trying to finish me off. So I guess this is the end...

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Holiday Weekend

Wow. I was totally knocked for a loop this past week. And no, it wasn't because of the new job. This cold is killing me! The headaches. The loss of voice. The gucky green snot.

And then the weather had to put it's two cents in and go from the 40's a week ago to 90 yesterday. Let's just say I felt like someone had poured molten lead into my limbs and chest.

On a good note, we had almost no obligations. This never happens. Usually the kids keep us running and running and running. Sunday we attended a nearby brunch with my parents and later a b-b-q at my mom's. Monday the boys all marched in the parade. A parade I can lazily walk down to the end of the street for with my cup of coffee, see some friends and walk home. Then my in-laws had a b-b-q last night. My life is rough, I know. In between all this being fed and such? We hung out at home. I was too headachy and exhausted to do anything so I watched the kids have a water balloon fight, read a book in bed and did a minimal amount of cleaning and feeding. Oh, I did give the boys haircuts.

I seriously can't believe how damn lazy I was. But it was seriously nice. Today though? Back to our regularly scheduled program of school, work, baseball and trying to decide what to feed everyone. Oh, and I should probably shop. We have NO food.

Thanks for reading another installment of "My life's so glamorous. You totally want to be me."

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Kid Scare

My oldest is now wearing my college sweatshirt.

Where I Finally Mention Mother's Day

First, go vote. I'll wait... no really, if you haven't voted, please vote...

Back? Thanks. Yes, I'm a whore for the feedback. It's just the way it is. I'm even willing to take feedback that tells me how much you hate my photos or which one you hate the most. I'm really okay with that. Of course, I say that now. Now before anyone spreads the hate. But still, I'd love to hear from everyone and I know I have a couple more readers than those who've voted. So you, yes you, the one reading right now that hasn't voted? Take a minute and vote. I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes, second, Grey's Anatomy. Ah, so much happened in those 2 wondrous hours. And I would like to thank the network for getting it on the air on time and not making me stay up until all hours of the night to watch. *sigh* As far as a recap with you all, I think I'll save it. I'm still processing. Let's just say I was very angry at Christina and bawled quite profusely at the end. Now all of you who haven't watched it on your technological miracle called TiVo, watch it now so I may discuss without giving it all away. Also, if you were able to not watch it last night when it was on? WOW! You are strong willed to wait. I couldn't have done it.

Third... what was third? Shit, I can't remember. Oh yes! Mother's Day! I bet you are all wondering how someone whose blog name has the word Mom in it and MoMMY is her name can forget to mention Mother's Day. Well, I didn't. I've just been a bit busy. And yes, it was a good Mother's Day. I'm finding they get better every year. Or I'm lowering my expectations. Or both.

So Mother's Day... I was the first one up so I had to make my own coffee. Which is fine because then it was just how I like it. And it was QUIET. Ahhhh...

Then I got ready for work. Work on Mother's Day? you say. Yes, work on Mother's Day. The 2 littles woke up right before I left and one told me he loved me from bed and the other (Zach) jumped out of bed and rushed to give me the present he made at school - a pin which I wore to work. Quiet drive to work. Ahhhh...

Work was quiet because I had no classes and only had to do some paperwork and get the library ready and tidied up for the summer. When it is closed. (It is working out nicely that this job ends for the summer at the exact time the new job starts.) Half way through my morning the husband and kids showed up for Sunday school. The husband and youngest were even wearing ties for their brunch with my MIL. Very handsome those two. Then I finished up my quiet day at work. Ahhhh.....

After work we were all off to the Lilac Festival. Some of you may recall my inordinate amount of photos from the festival last year. The majority of the photos disappeared in the great loss of 2005 so I had to take many more. The children were not amused. In fact, they were whiney. They were clearly flaunting the Mother's Day mandate of 1812 that says children should not whine to their mother's on Mother's Day and should do whatever their mother wants. Clearly flaunting it. It was sad really. The torture I forced them to endure - HA! Apparently I am a horrible mother. But then my MIL took us out to lunch and once my offspring were fed they were much more enjoyable. So thank you my MIL!

After a bit of browsing at the booths it was decided (not by me) that we must get home. So home we went. And since lunch was around 4 there was no dinner to make. (And just so you know, we didn't starve the children. They had eaten around 11 &/or 1:30 - packed PB&J's or just PB's as not all of them will eat the same thing. Of course.)

At this point it was PRESENT TIME! YAY! I do so love presents. And even though I thought the purse I bought the other day was my present. I guess it was more a present to myself as they got me a hanging pansy which I will promptly kill and an espresso pot that I wanted and am enjoying and will hopefully not kill. Ever.

Then they played a modified game of baseball in the backyard while I cleaned up the kitchen. Where it was fairly quiet. Ahhhh....

At last it was time to put them all to bed and watch Grey's Anatomy. Yes, the greatest Mother's Day present of all - Grey's. Okay, I'm just kidding. The handmade cards and pin were the best presents of all. The coffee pot rocks and spending the day doing nothing more taxing then walking around and fighting crowds with the family were the best presents. But the show was a great end to the day.

So now I'm off to enjoy another latte in my very own kitchen and put the littles on the bus. Then I shall do some paperwork I've been putting off and CLEAN. MY. HOUSE. The dust bunnies have taken over and are threatening to bar me from the computer. Actually, they like the computer as the more time I spend on it, the less I clean them up. But today! Today I'm staging a revolt and I'm ousting the wee buggers. Ok, I'll admit, they are not wee buggers. Let's just say I mistook a dust bunny for one of the children the other day. And it wasn't the little one either. I'm not telling which kid it was though. I think that may be a bit TMI.

Monday, May 15, 2006

2 Words... or Many More, Whatever

I have 2 words for you...

Grey's Anatomy

If your not watching? Why the hell not? And if you are? Can I just say I bawled last night. Yes, I know it's just a TV show and not even one of those reality things but please! You'd need a heart of stone not to react. Those last few minutes? Heartbreaking. This show is so, so good. And even my husband who HATES the show with a fiery passion (he pretty much only watches Alias and Scrubs so therefore does not *gasp* watch much TV - and why again did I marry him?) felt a little something at the end of the show. Even he was sucked in. I watched him ignoring his book to watch the heartbreak unfold. Almost the entire show even. Amazing.

Also? My husband was nice enough to make jokes afterward to try and distract me from my horror that was watching Izzie LOSE. HER. MIND. Just what was she thinking? And Burke? Looking dead on the ground? OMG! And we must not forget Meredith and McDreamy as they both realize they are both still in love. Addison? She broke my heart. Really, I so want her to find happiness and I never thought that would happen. Then there was George always knowing what just to say to the patients to get them to do what they need to do. And yet in real life? He's not always so quick with the words. Although I am noticing him having a backbone now. Callie? She so wants to be part of the family and she was trying so hard with Meredith. It was all just, just so good. I may have to weep again if I think about Denny giving in to Izzie. She is breaking my heart with her desperation. And he broke my heart a little when he made us realize he would do anything for her. Except - apparently - save her medical career.

So yes, you really need to watch if you're not. And if you do? What did you think of last night's episode?

One last note: THANK GOD they are not making us wait until next week to see the 2 hour season finale. And if you even think about trying to interrupt me between 9-11 tonight? I will kill you. Or just completely ignore you and then kill you when it is over and I'm most likely sobbing again. Consider yourself warned.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

News!!!

I got the job!

The one with the perfect hours and the cool job responsibilities (computer woman!).

It doesn't seem quite real yet.

I also found 3 pairs of pants, 1 skirt, 1 shirt, 2 pairs of shoes and a new purse. It was a good shopping day! I'm thinking the planets finally aligned.

Tomorrow I'm off on a field trip with the oldest (the last one for at least a year for me :( ) and then Friday is paperwork, physical, drug screening day. I'm thinking it will seem more real then.

Oh, and I need to go through my calendars and reschedule a half dozen appointments scheduled in the mornings for the next couple of months. But YAY! a job. And I will reschedule anything to get out of having to look for a job one more minute.

Shopping

There is no news. No shocker there. But, I am going shopping today for clothes. For me. In case I actually land a job sometime this century. I have NO work clothes. And, I have no work SHOES. Yes, shoe shopping. Which sounds like great fun except I have the widest feet on the planet and none of the lovely shoes out there ever fit me. So it is sad and stressful. Not only do I not fit in the clothes I want but I don't even fit in the shoes I want. I may have to get a purse just to make me feel better.

Oh, but the best part? The clothes (at least some of them) will be bought by my mother as a belated birthday gift. So YAY! No money, no job BUT new clothes.

If I can find anything that fits. And doesn't make me look as wide as the side of a barn. Or as lumpy as a loaf of lumpy bread.

I just remembered I hate shopping. GAH!

Tuesday, May 9, 2006

And The Job Hunt Continues...

Let's just say that this morning I was done. I was sick of the "try to look at the bright side"-ness of it all. I guess you could say I'm an optimist. I always try to appreciate what I have when everything turns to shit. I always try to see how good will come out of the bad. I always do that good thing/bad thing thing. But not this morning. This morning I was pissed. I was pissed and unhappy. This whole job hunting thing got to me. I was hitting rock bottom.

I've been doing a full on search for a job for 4 months. FOUR. MONTHS. Not looking for jobs that require degrees. I have a degree but it's a BFA which means shit in this world. So no jobs that need a specific degree. I've applied for jobs that require a high school diploma and a bit of experience. Jobs that require the ability to answer phones and use a computer and send a fax. Jobs that will train and jobs that are almost all part time. I'm talking jobs I am actually qualified for. And let me mention... I'm not a good liar. I didn't lie on my resume. DID. NOT. LIE.

So I spent 2 months with no responses. None. Not one. Then I got 4 calls in 2 days. The tides had turned. I usually interview well. People can see I'm not full of shit when I say I can do something.

Let's just say that it is now a month later and I still have NO. JOB. Why? I'm fairly intelligent. I'm well spoken. I don't believe I had any snot hanging out of my nose during the interviews. I showered. I kept it together, was confident and did not babble. I HELD. MY. TONGUE. I have a blog. You must realize I have a tendency to talk.

Still, nothing.

Today I had yet another interview. This was with 2 more people from the hospital. Now, just so you all know, I've worked in a hospital before. I enjoyed it. I did it well. I breezed through my first 2 interviews and was left with the impression they wanted to hire me. Then... nothing. Then they notified me that the hours had changed. Was I still interested? Yes! I need a job people. And even though the hours weren't as great as the first set they were still doable. Then nothing.

Then a week later I got another call. They switched the hours again. To hours I simply can't do. 2:30-6pm M-F. Hours that mean I will miss everything with the kids. Hours that mean I will not being earning what I need to earn to keep us afloat. AND I will still be home during the day, alone, going insane from boredom. I. CAN. NOT. STAY. HOME. ALL. DAY. ANY MORE. I NEED A JOB! So I said no. Then I cried. Then I called back and said, "Yes, I'll keep the final 2 interviews."

Because I need a job. And maybe someday I could get my hours changed.

This brings us to today. It brings us to me once again trying to look at the positive and how I could make this all work which brings us to the tears at the thought of leaving my babies. Which reminds me that I have PMS and have been crying at the drop of a hat for days which makes me worry I will cry in the middle of the interview if things don't go well. Then I get a bit pissed. And I decide I'm tired of trying to focus on the good. Things are shitty and I should be able to say - things are shitty. So yes, things here are shitty.

And then I get the desperate sweat thing going. So now I am sweating. I am running late - LATE. For a job interview. Then a v-e-r-y s-l-o-w o-l-d p-e-r-s-o-n is in front of me and I AM LATE. Lovely. More sweat.

I'm thinking I have actually hit the bottom of the desperation scale. And yet, I have that slight fear that it could get even worse. And we know I'm afraid of angering any of the Gods - as in the - You thought things were bad before-Gods, HA! I shall show you-Gods. So, trying to tread carefully in my anger and self-pity.

Well, I arrive. Sweaty. Late. And yes, the HR person notices I am late. So I'm off to a great fucking start. And then? I babble. And sweat. But it seems to be going well other than the occasional mental "SHUT. UP. SHUT. UP. SHUT. UP!" Why can I not just shut up or talk more slowly. **Frame of reference: I grew up in New England and I can speak at approximately the speed of light. Many people can not understand me when I'm going full tilt. Which I was at many points during the interviews.**

The good news (see, here I go again): I think it went well other than my obvious desperation. The guy who has final say seems to want to hire me. And possibly in a different position with better (re: perfect) hours.

The bad news: Nothing is decided and I may have a heart attack before it is. Also, nothing is decided and they could decide to hire someone else and then I shall be screwed.

More good news (can. not. stop. myself.): I've begun applying for yet more jobs. So there's that.

The bad news: I'm strung as tight as a wire and very nearly vibrating with... well, with something. I'm not quite sure what. Whatever it is, it has me wound so tight I may snap at any moment.

The last bit of good news (please send help): I don't feel like crying anymore.

Good Thoughts

Please send good thoughts my way. I really, really need them.

I have another interview today. And the job thing? Messing me up and not going well. Lots of highs and lows. I will explain it later. Maybe. If I'm up to it.

Anyway, good thoughts. Please.

Thank you.