Tuesday, December 4, 2007

We're All Going To DIE!!!!!

Sorry about the title there. My husband accused me of being an alarmist this morning so I've had to practice all day. Luckily it has not stopped snowing for a moment here so I have many opportunities to warn people that THEY ARE GOING TO DIE!!!!! if they go outside. (or G-d forbid, attempt to drive)

DEATH awaits us all!!!!



Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Winds and Not of Change This Time

The winds, they are blowing. Have I mentioned I hate the wind? I have? Oh right, go here if you want to read about it.

Also, it is cold.

The end.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Winds of Change

The winds of change are blowing. Actually, they've been blowing for quite a while around here and have now reached gusts of near hurricane forces. As this blog pops up second when you google my name, I don't feel comfortable discussing said changes until they are completed.

I will say, the invites are out! My oldest is about to turn thirteen. Yes, a TEENAGER. His Bar Mitzvah is on his birthday and it is rapidly approaching. I have a feeling we've missed many of the plans we're suppose to make but well, it's our first time. And I have no idea. Also, he is officially taller than me and his feet have been larger than mine for quite some time now. It is an odd sensation looking directly into your offspring's eyes. I'm sure it will be even weirder when I have to look up.

Happy Thanksgiving to all (one) of my readers who are left.

(No, I shall not discuss my absence. It is what it is.)

Must get ready for the holiday...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Kid Quote

"Are you Jewish or half and halfish?"
- asked by Zach, age 7

Friday, September 14, 2007

Middle Name Meme

A meme from me! Really. I know I try to avoid them but since this one is floating about and I'm avoiding real life, I thought I'd try it.

So, my middle name. Much to my husband's chagrin I replaced my middle name for my maiden name when we got married. Do I do my original name? My current middle name?

I shall vote for the current middle name. Besides, 2 e's? That's just hard.

Middle name: Miller

M: Well, Mom of course, duh.
I: Slightly insane.
L: Lazy, nuf' said
L: Loquacious
E: Still stuck with the darn E. I'll go with eclectic.
R: Rabid. No, no, ragged. No, well sort of. How about refined. Hahahaha. Sorry, making myself laugh. I guess I'll go with reliable. Usually. Except this past week.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

One of Those days has turned into one of Those weeks

Dear sub-conscience-

Since Monday started as one of those days. Nothing too terrible happened. Just lots of little things kept going wrong and I went to bed thinking, "I'm so glad today is over. Tomorrow is a new day."

Then Tuesday turned out to be another one of those days. The stakes were a bit higher. More little things went wrong. I started to stress about not getting things done that needed to be done. But I told myself, Wednesday, Wednesday would be better.

And when Wednesday turned out to be terrible before it even began. Things needed to be done. Things for work and things for the family and things for the kids. All at the same time. It was not an auspicious start.

After much stressing I decided the family came first. I called in sick. And maybe physically I wasn't ill but mentally I was walking a tightrope. Then the 11 year old was sick and needed to stay home. But I had 8 billion things that needed to be done and none of them could be done at home. Well, to be truthful, the ones that could be done at home could be done at night or later or whatever. There were appointments to be attended and groceries to buy and gas for the car or I wouldn't be going anywhere. Oh, and it was the husband's birthday. Might be nice if I had a card and a cake.

So I left my mildly ill child home with the dog and went to an appointment. But I was very late for the appointment because somehow meeting at 10 translated into my brain as leave house at 10. Until 10 arrived and I realized I needed to be somewhere that was a minimum of 30 minutes away. You my brain, you are not working well.

At every turn I was letting people down. Something I have learned about myself... I do not do well with letting people down. Almost every errand run resulted in at least one other thing that needed to be done. Nothing huge. Nothing horrible. But, like a bucket 1/2 full of water. Each little pebble that was added brought the water level up a little closer to the rim. As of yesterday around 4 pm I was 1 pebble away from overflowing. Did you not pay attention to this, oh sub-conscience of mine?

As you may recall, I started to have a panic attack in the car. I held on by my fingertips, barely. I felt like I did when I finally went to the doctor for my depression 3 years ago. Not the despair but the feeling of one more thing would send me straight to a padded room. I kept having visions of heading to the airport and hopping on a plane to anywhere. These alternated with the vision of curling up in bed in the fetal position and pulling the covers over my head. Were you sending me these visions? Was it you?

The only way I can describe the feeling of being one step from the edge is that it feels like any moment I may shatter. DID. YOU. NOT. NOTICE. THIS?

Did you not notice my panic and guilt when I returned home to a child with a high fever and earache? How about when I picked up another child's monthly prescription and it was more than 2x's the normal amount?

So why, why sub-conscience did you force me to have a dream ALL. NIGHT. LONG. of me failing people at every turn? Did you think it would make today better? Did you? Because it made me really tired and really hysterical and not any closer to keeping my shit together.

You are now on notice. I am telling you in case you're not paying attention. Today has not been going so well. Remember that prescription? It seems we've reached the cap. Next month it will cost us $200. TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS each month until the end of the year.

Consider this a warning. I want dreams of unicorns with friggin rainbows coming out their asses. Puppy dogs and kittens. Do you understand???

MoMMY, one step from the edge

Friday, August 31, 2007

Why God, Why?

I just realized I can't by Clorox Toilet Bowl Cleaner with Teflon in the store anymore. In fact, I can only find it online by the case. Clorox doesn't even list it on it's site anymore.

I stopped using it because I couldn't find it. Every time I had to buy more toilet cleaner I assumed it would be back on the shelf the next time. Then I tried different stores. Now I'm trying on the internet.

I wasn't sure it made a difference but it totally does. It keeps the bowls cleaner so much longer. Why, why can't I get it? I really don't want to have to order a CASE of cleaner. I'm guessing the shipping will be completely unreasonable too.

I'm really worried this means they are discontinuing this product. Clorox? If you ever see this, please, PLEASE for the love of my sanity in a house of 5 males, DO. NOT. DISCONTINUE YOUR TEFLON TOILET CLEANER.


Thursday, August 30, 2007

Do You Have Dinner Plans?

The last couple months my dinner plans have not been coming together as I hoped.

This past winter I instituted a new policy stating that each individual in the house had to pick one meal for the following week. I would shop for all the ingredients and make the dishes when time, schedules and my mood dictated. If for some reason your meal was bumped, I made it the following week. If you wanted to choose the same meal every week. Fine. The only rule was you could not pick something someone else had already chosen. (i.e. pizza 4 nights)

The plan worked very well for many months. And then Spring sports hit and it was a frozen food free-for-all.

Now it's time to settle back down and eat real food once again. Except now no one knows what they want. I hate, hate, HATE picking meals every week. Every day of every week. Every month of every year. Only to be told they hate what I've made. Is it not enough I must COOK all the meals? Shop for all the meals? I have to plan the meals too? I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if the younger people in house the didn't complain so much - but they do.

Anyway, last week I read Anne Glamore's recipes. Her fabulous, fabulous recipes. Recipes that contained foods my children might actually eat without gagging. Boy tested and approved meals. YAY Anne!

So far I have made 3 of the 4 recipes. Tonight will be #4. And although I forgot to take photos of the finished dishes, I shall still report the results.

Meal #1:
Bowties with Peas and Prosciutto - Except I made it with Penne because that's what I had on hand.
After all of the children spend most of meal DYING because, "What IS that? Are those peas? I HATE peas!" They ate it. There may have been a bit of Ranch dressing involved at the end for the piles of peas left at the bottom of the bowls - but all-in-all SUCCESS! The children also suggested I make it with broccoli next time. The husband prefers peas but suggested bowties would have been better. Whatever. They ate it.

Meal #2:
Bulgogi with Jasmine Rice and Applesauce
HUGE SUCCESS! Not a speck of rice left. They ate all 2 lbs of beef, 6 cups of rice and were saddened when it was gone. My youngest wants to learn how to make it himself. Now if someone could just tell me how to pronounce it.

Meal #3
Chicken Piccata Pasta Toss
Another success. Not quite as huge as the Bulgogi but they all ate it. It was a bit bland for me. I may have to add something next time but the kids did like it.

Tonight: Pork Lo Mein

So Anne, A HUGE thank you! Some new dinners to toss into the rotation.

Monday, August 27, 2007

The weekend

Let's see, the weekend...

It was busy. But not in the usual ways. My weekend started Friday (it always does). And soon it will end on Saturday night again (sniff). But for now I have glorious 3-day weekends.

Friday the children tried to kill me with their arguing and fighting and general pain-in-the-assness. No, really. It is August and all. I know you're stunned. The best argument though was one that ended in tears (not even mine). It was only slightly funny at the time because ENOUGH WITH THE ARGUING ALREADY!!! But it is sure to amuse at least one of you.

Scene: the minivan

Participants: The 7 y/o & 8 y/o

Background: Occasionally these two like to ask me to "open their windows". I put that in quotes because they were sitting in the middle seats of the van and the windows don't actually open. I pretend to push a button and make a burrrrr noise and then they ask me to open and close their windows a couple more times.

They both asked me to "put down their windows" and I obliged by making the burrrr noise. I then got the brilliant idea to tell them they had their own controls for said windows. They then proceeded to "open and close" the imaginary windows. Soon after they actually got in a fight and the 7 y/o cried real tears because "Dylan keeps closing my window and won't let me keep it open. Whhhaaaaaaa."

Yes. For real. I had to "put a lock on Dylan's control".

This is my life. Don't you wish you were me?

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Am I the only one who wants to rearrange peoples magnetic ribbons? Not take them, just move them.

Say Goodbye

I've decided that starting a home improvement project while your marriage is in disarray is not that bad of an idea. Really. Even if in the best of times you've learned you can't work together on such projects.

In the past my husband and I have found it best if he does the prep work. ALONE. Then I come in and do finish work. If I need him for some manly task (i.e. something I don't want to do), I leave him to it and return to oh and ah and finish what I was doing.

Works for us.

Last night however, we realized we had to rip out some nasty carpet. We've been wanting to for a while (since we moved in) but have put it off until the walls, ceilings, etc were finished as to not ruin what we suspected to be underneath - real wood floor. Well, last week we were on vacation and our upstairs toilet decided to leak while we were away. The result was a flooded foyer. Very wet carpet that has refused to dry in the damp, wet weather we've been having.

- beginning of serious tangent -

Say good bye you fugly carpet. Have I mentioned it was red? I suppose it was some 60's idea of cool to put white and black wallpaper that looks like nerves on the walls and have red carpet. The wallpaper came down a couple of years ago so now we have the look of crumbling plaster and red carpet. Really helps the plaster stand out on the floors.

The carpet still resides on the stairs and upstairs hallway. There is also a patch in front of the downstairs bathroom - much to my dismay.

- end of much too long tangent -

The ripping out went surprisingly well. The scrapping of carpet mat? Also went well. The pulling of staples? Fabulous. I am seriously amazed.

We still have more scrapping and pulling of staples and washing of boards. But I think it will be okay. I think it helped that we each did our own thing and stayed out of each other's way and helped when it was asked for. I'm not sure we've ever done those things quite so well before. Guess it says a lot about our marriage that we haven't been able to do that before. But it does give me hope.

For the Record

I have never said the Biltmore's Who's Who was a scam.

I was responding to a letter I received from them. A letter stating I was an outstanding executive/business person. At the time I was a stay-at-home mom. I have never been an executive nor a business person.

Please person from Biltmore that keeps e-mailing me... stop trying to sell me on what a great networking opportunity it is. I do not care. I'm sorry your son cut his eyebrow. And yes, it shows me you read at least one other post on my site. It will not sway me if you tell me how you kept reading because you could relate.


Thursday, August 9, 2007


Time has become the enemy. There never seems to be enough of it. It just flies by and leaves me exhausted with nothing much accomplished. ("Yes", I hear you saying, "and yet here you are blogging." Shut it.)

There is suddenly so much I want to do but I'm afraid I'm using all my energy on the planning stage and there will be none left for the actual doing stage. (What is that you say? Why yes, I have done this before.)

I've started a decluttering sweep through the house and it is taking me much longer than they make it look on all those clean house type shows. Then I get disheartened and start doing other things like planning what I shall do when the decluttering is finished. And then of course, I must estimate costs on renovations and such to see what we can actually afford to do (nothing). And then I realize I'm still only halfway through our bedroom and the youngest kids' room is becoming recluttered and it was the only room almost finished. (Yes almost. Enough with the snide comments already. Geesh!)

So now I have two almost finished rooms. Ten not even started rooms. And I need someone to tell me - WHAT, in the name of Niecy the Style Diva do I do with all the sell/give away stuff until I finish the house? I was thinking of doing a 1 day sale with scheduled VOA pickup the following day but where do I put it all in the meantime???

And how do I finish the whole house by the last weekend in August? Especially since I will on vacation for one of those weeks? (No, I will not tell you which one.)

Do you find it odd that I hear your comments while writing? No, I wouldn't say I hear voices exactly. What I meant was... I suppose it's time to make dinner.

Monday, August 6, 2007

More Photos

... up at Flickr. Now you can see what we did yesterday.

Just be warned, the photos on Flickr are unedited. I just threw them up when I pulled them off the camera. So be nice.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Weekend

If you twitter, you've heard. I went away last weekend. For a long weekend. For a girly weekend. For a weekend without my children. And no, I didn't go to Blogher. I went to my Aunt & Uncle's. Hung out with my cousins (all girls), mother, grandmother and aunt. Lest we OD on estrogen, my uncle was there now and then.

Let me just say - LOVELY time. Really. A perfect day at the beach (some photos on flickr, more to follow). A pedicure (similar to Did someone say PARTY?). My cousins introduced me to Japanese food (yum). And I spent approximately FOUR HOURS ALONE watching some Clean Sweep type show. Divine! And now I want to throw out all our belongings.

That is all for now...

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Karen & I

My cousin just e-mailed me this photo.

  1. It was the 70's. Back away from the pants comments.
  2. I'm guessing it was the 4th of July.
  3. I look scarily the same except my hair is about 15 shades darker and no more pigtails.
  4. Now you all see why I wanted to be just like her. So beautiful.
Edited to add: My mother informs me this was taken on Labor Day, 1973. I was 2.5 and Karen was 6.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Product Reviews

Unlike the big name bloggers, I don't get products to review all the time. But, once and a while a nice marketing person sends something to me addressed to my blog. I'm very bad about writing reviews and I'm not going to praise something just because someone sent it to me for free. Honestly, the last three things I've been sent have been things I don't use. So therefore, no review. Except...

Since these items were lying around my house I did use them. So now that it's been ages since they've been sent I figured the least I could do is tell you about them.

#1. Febreze Noticeables
Okay, I caved. This was my initial reaction to the product over a YEAR ago. But the stench from the boys' room got to me so I plugged the damn thing in hoping it would keep me from keeling over from the adolescent stench. And guess what? It did. And I bought more. What's more? No headache. I always get a headache from scented things but not this.

I used the Morning Walk/Cleansing Rain scent and it is lovely. Since I have tried the Calypso Breeze/Hawaiian Paradise and I'm not as fond of that one. It's a bit too sweet smelling for me.

So I must admit, I now have 3 of these things in my house. The older boys' room (the initial test area), the playroom (where they spend most of their days), and the laundry room (where they leave their shoes). They really work and if I can find a scent combo I like, you certainly can (there are many now).
#2. Keri Moisture Therapy Lotions
I'm not a lotion person. I have a wee bit of sensitive skin and most lotions cause me to get hives. I think it may be the fragrance. (See above) Why yes, I am a pain in the ass to send samples to. Anyway, I had no intention of using this product. I stuck one in the upstairs bathroom and one in the downstairs in case someone was in need of lotion but I was certain it would not be me and maybe even no one. I was actually picturing me tossing them in a couple of years when they had been sitting there unused in a massive clean up event. (Like in ten years when we move.)

Okay, so you guessed it. I was sitting at lacrosse one day and leaning on my black pants when low-and-behold, white flakes all over my pants. Seems like my arms were flaking everywhere. Totally disgusting. No, I did not go home and smooth some of that fine, free lotion on. I went home and forgot all about it in the chaos of putting 4 boys to bed.

A few days later however, my arms were still flaking and it was starting to itch. I got out of the shower and the one moisturizer I do use and always use because - hello, no hives - was in the other room. (Have I mentioned I am excessively lazy?) So I grabbed the bottle of Keri Shea Butter and squirted some out and smoothed it on. It smelled good but not sweet or perfumey. Then I waited. I figured if the hives appeared I'd jump back into the shower and hunt down my regular stuff. Then I waited a bit more. Nothing. And it smells much better than my old stuff.

Also, totally took care of the flaking. Quickly. It was better by the next day and completely gone the day after. I used the product twice. Now I use it whenever I'm feeling a bit flaky. My legs love it after I shave. Thank you Keri people who sent it to me. I would have never bought it on my own and I love it. But I'm still not a lotion person (you know the ones, they use lotion everyday, several times a day) so it may be a while before I need to replace the bottles you sent.

#3. Febreze Candles
As you can see above - NOT A SCENTED CANDLE PERSON. But, I do love Febreze products and they are very lovely and beautiful people who send me stuff and get me addicted to their products. So... I totally stuck it on a shelf in the foyer where the ugly red carpet that must be ripped out because it is ugly and horrible and the dog pees on it so it smells resides. And then, I never lit it because I. AM. NEVER. HOME. ANYMORE. Will the sports stop already?

Sorry. But just for this review, I did (today). They sent me Apple Spice & Delight. I'm thinking Linen & Sky or Spring & Renewal or Meadows & Rain would have been more to my liking but whatever. Free. The whole deal with the candle is it has a core of the febreze odor-eliminating stuff. I pink puffy heart febreze odor-eliminating stuff. Their fabric spray is God-like in its rulingness (totally a word).

The results? Slight sent of apple spice and pretty much nothing else. Seems like yet another success. GAH! Can't anyone send me a product I hate? I'm not sure if I would trash it or just not report but at least it would be more interesting than - it works! It's great! Try it!

Now to find the crow bar to rip out offending carpet. Really must do that soon.

Updated to add: One of the children seems to be allergic to the candle. So! Not a success. I think I will just stick with the plug-in things.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Horror

Things I learned today while shopping for a bathing suit (in bullets) (& sub-bullets) (& parenthesis):
  • It never gets easier. Only worse.
  • My thighs should never be displayed in public (or private). It's not that they're huge or anything (not that they couldn't be smaller) but they are:
    • pasty
    • bruised, as in several dark purple bruises
      • and yes, I've been taking my iron and getting my B-12 shots
      • and no, I have no idea where the bruises came from
    • much less smooth (as in frighteningly ripply) than I remember (when the hell did that happen?)
  • I apparently haven't seen my naked thighs in a mirror in a couple of years.
  • It was a rude shock.
  • You totally want me right now, don't you?
  • All the spandex in the world around my midsection will not help my thighs one bit.
  • I paid more money to look hideous than I will pay for almost any other item of clothing.
  • I am returning the bathing suit.
  • The stupid skirted bathing suit that floats up when you enter the water and the "cute" boy shorts that only look good on skinny women who could get away with a thong are not going to work either.
  • I would totally go another year without a bathing suit except I would like to go in a pool with the kids and not be uncomfortable in shorts and a tee shirt.
  • I'm thinking of a redesign of swim wear is finally in order.
  • My ideas for a new line of women's swim wear:
    • <Deleted for possible new business venture. Riiight. Like that will ever happen. My ego, it is huge.>
  • I may buy some of the above items and modify them myself. It can't look any worse than what I just spent a small fortune on and I bet it will be a hell of a lot cheaper.
Does anyone know someone in fashion that could make this happen?

Evidence of the New Camera

I'm going to finally start putting some photos up over at MoMMY's Photos. These would be the ones taken with the new camera. Actually, any photos you may have seen since May/June have been from the new camera. Can you tell any difference? I'm guessing no. But there are times I think I can. And I feel much more at home with a camera I have more control over. And a camera that gives me something to hold on to.

Will try to post more later. Really must get ready to go out and about - running the children to and fro.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

One Thing That Has Happened In My Absence From "The Blog"




It only took me a little over a week to finally send all that hair to Locks Of Love. But it's on its way now.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

School Is Out!

Today is the first day of summer vacation. Oh how I wish I could sleep in and hang with the children. Although yesterday? It was a bit taxing with 10 boys hanging out after school. The good news was I only had to feed 7 of them. The bad news is the youngest 3 almost drove me to drink what with the hooting and hollering and LOUD laughter that was not cute and precious but LOUD (did I mention LOUD?) and obnoxious.

Today I got to get up and get ready for work in peace and quiet. There was no one to yank out of bed and threaten life and limb if they didn't get moving. I was out of the house in less than an hour and folded a load of laundry, put a new batch in the washer and left a list of chores for the children to choose from. Whether or not they get done is another matter.

I also have made a list of things I must do. Soon. Like making a list of breakfast choices, lunch choices and a new chore chart. Make sure there is actual food in the house to choose from. And for the love of God, go to my second job and finish up what needs to be done for the summer. I am so behind! But it is hard to find time to go in when they are open and someone is around to watch the kids.

Still, the relief I felt at not having to worry about lunches and homework and end of year activities has been lovely. Now if it would stop raining on baseball night so we could finish the regular season already...

Friday, June 15, 2007

Kid Quote

"It seems the worst day got mixed up with the best day."
-Tyler, age 10

(He's breaking my heart.)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

My Sanity in Question

Once again I've been writing posts in my head. Seems the only time I have to actually think is driving in the car. So, bullets...

  • New cell phone! YAY! Why do they have so many gadgets now? And why does it cost so much to use them?

  • New camera! YAY! Still figuring it all out. And still feeling guilty for spending all that money that could have gone into the house.

  • Hummingbird has been coming to feed at my honeysuckle the last 2 evenings between 8:30ish and 8:45ish. I'm so glad I noticed. It feels luxurious to spend those 15 minutes just watching for him. (I'm thinking the fact it seems like a huge luxury is not a good sign.)

  • Turning off the expressway and feeling the wind caress my face each day on my way home. Lovely. Luxurious. A reason to not be pissed the air conditioning in the van is on the fritz.

  • Serious need for a weekend BY. MY. SELF. I don't know how you all do it. I need at least a weekend a year away from the kids to keep my sanity. It's been over a year. Now that I've identified the fact I can't hold out much longer I can't decide between:

    • A weekend home alone to clean the damn house.

    • A weekend at a friend's doing things like going out for dinner and ... well, whatever else one does when with friends. (It's been way too long.)

    • A weekend at my mom's where I can watch TV/movies during the day and not do or plan or arrange anything.

    • A weekend spent visiting family that lives about 6 hours away.

  • I know I should DO something. I should clean. I should visit. But I really want to spend a beautiful day lounging on the couch and watching TV. It seems so wrong.
That's all I've got. NEED VACATION.

Friday, June 8, 2007

Just a Quick Update...

because MY GOD, the business that is June is KILLING. ME.

Things are going well in my cliche life. Trying to put to use skills the counselor taught us and it seems to be working. Not that it's all a bed of roses all the time but the weirdness, fragility & anger seems to be gone. I've finally stopped feeling like I've been holding my breath. Not to say things won't ever take a turn for the worst because... hello - this is life we're talking about here. But things are good and I'm trying to enjoy them.

Now if school would just be over already. Then end of school things are never ending and the sport - it is all too much.

I think I need a nap.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Something's Not Right...

A very strange thing happened on Wednesday.

I went to my oldest son's practice for his travel baseball team and there were *gasp* girls on the fields. As in, Wednesdays are softball night at the fields.

I then realized I've never been there on a softball night. I knew almost none of the parents. And the actual air felt different. Very different. I swear I could feel the estrogen floating about and instead of making me more comfortable (as one might assume) it freaked me the hell out. I felt VERY uncomfortable. The balance of the universe was off. In fact, it was so bad I had to get out of there. There was cheering and screeching and... pink. Nothing I'm used to.

So I left and went to lacrosse practice where there were all boys and parents I recognized. The testosterone was comforting and the world was right again.

Is this not the oddest thing you've ever heard? I was there and I still find it odd. Very odd.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007


My left eyelid keeps twitching.
Since yesterday.
It's really starting to piss me off.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Life is Getting Good

My oldest mowed the lawn for the 1st time all by himself yesterday...


Friday, May 4, 2007

Newness and Mediocrity

Anita brought up a good point in the comments of my last post:

"I think this age (middle) is a tricky one. We can see that we haven't accomplished everything we want, and we can see that we won't, and we are glimpsing our own mortality. We yearn to feel. I think that makes it a time rife for seeking newness. We all need to be careful of the form in which that newness manifests itself."

I've come to the conclusion she is right. So very, very right. For the last couple of years I have been looking for that newness. I haven't looked for it in a male (Good God, I certainly don't need another male in my life!) But I have been looking at my career path - or lack there of -, my creative life, my home and just about every other area of my life. The difference is, the newness I look for starts within.

I have realized, I'm not happy with how I'VE turned out. I'm certainly less than I expected to be. And there it is. Another cliche. I'm not at all the person I thought I'd be. I thought I was special and different and could do anything I put my mind to. That was how I was raised. I've learned that is not the case. I am the same. I am like many people. And even when I put my mind to something and try and try to succeed at it, it doesn't happen. Not to say that some things will never happen, but really... I'm very mediocre.

There are so many better artists. So many better writers. So many better "fill-in the blank" here. I believe there is room for many people to succeed in every field. Room for everyone. I don't think that if someone else succeeds it means I can't. What I have realized over the last 8 years or so is that even though I could succeed, I won't. Because I'm just not talented enough.

I keep thinking that if I keep working at it - it will happen. But honestly, I don't love anything quite that much. I worked at writing for a solid 6 years. And then? I'd had enough. My attention span is just not that long when there is no recognition EVER.

But now I've run out of time for this post so I shall continue at a later date. Or not.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

The Practice Taxi is Back

The baseball. The lacrosse. All the damn meetings and whatnot. Good lord, I can't even get to the friggin' grocery store. And you want to know why I haven't blogged? Are you kidding me?

To update from the last post: the snow is gone. But 49 is too cold to be standing outside in the wind while children practice various sports. Saturday's lacrosse game? At 9 AM on a very windy hill in frigid temps? Not fun. For anyone. Even the players who were running their little bottoms off were complaining of the cold.

It is cold here. And gray. And windy. I thought it was May. Am I wrong?

Bad Time of Year

This is definitely a bad time of year to start a new blog.

Reason #1: End of/Beginning of Month: My busiest time at work.

Reason #2: Sports. Sports. And even more sports. Baseball and lacrosse are very time consuming. And no, I don't play any sports except the sport of reading. My boys play. All of them. All 4 of them.

Reason #3: The weather. It is getting nicer out - finally! - and I would rather spend a bit of time outside than in on the computer. Or maybe not. But I do HAVE to spend more time outside tending to things. Things like the children. And eventually I will have to tend to the yard. The yard that currently looks like we live in an abandoned building. I hate yard work and gardening. Someone save me!

Reason #4: Since I'm going to try to keep this blog anonymous, I can't blog at night while the family is around. It will be interesting to see if I can pull it off.

There it is. A total cliche of the Springtime blog of someone with offspring.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Just Another Cliche

I suddenly realized at the age of 36 that my life is just a collection of cliches. Sad, but true. Prepare to hear what you've heard all before.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Still Snowing


The good news is, after not having a washing machine for a week. Yes, you read that correctly - a whole WEEK. I'm on the last load of laundry. And with my new front-loading wonder it has only taken seven loads since yesterday to get caught up. And that includes all the towels!


I got up at 5 freakin' 30 this morning. FIVE-THIRTY. This is not a normal occurrence. Usually I get up at 6:40. See the difference here? 5:30. 6:40. 70 whole minutes of sleep is the difference.

Anyway, every other Monday I must get up at the crack ass of dawn so I can get to work and get some stuff done before a meeting I have later in the morning. So today, the first day after April vacation, I get up. I drag the children from bed, manage to have almost everyone ready to walk out the door for just past seven and the phone rings...

A neighbor has seen one of my children waiting for the bus. In the snow. (Have I mentioned it's APRIL SIXTEENTH????) And school was canceled. Was it canceled when I watched the news while making coffee? No. Was it canceled while I made lunches? No. Was it canceled while I dragged children from bed? No.

It was canceled while I was in the shower and everyone was getting ready.

See the evidence:

Monday, March 26, 2007

To My Future Therapist & the Internets in General

I'm a crier.

When I'm extremely emotional I cry. I do not cry to manipulate people. I do not cry to garner sympathy. I cry because I can't help it.

In fact, I so often wish as tears start streaming down my face that they would just fucking stop because really, it's annoying. And embarrassing. And when I'm really pissed off? I DO. NOT. WANT. TO. CRY. in front of the person who pissed me off. And when I'm trying to be brave. I do not want people to see me cry.

The flip side of this is I can't cry on demand. If I get pulled over for speeding, CAN. NOT. CRY. I can't do it just to get my own way. Doesn't work. And honestly? I'm really not a manipulator. It's just not who I am.

Now you all know my secret. So, please ignore all the crying.

Friday, March 23, 2007

New Label

You may have noticed my new label: Fuckory

I'm guessing at the spelling here. Fuckory? Fuckery? Who knows? I'm going with the former.

I must thank Amy Winehouse for the word though. I just discovered it yesterday. The day before? God, was that only yesterday? Time is moving so incredibly slow around here. You'd think I'd be getting more done.

Anyway, I love, love, love the word as it describes my life so perfectly at the moment. So thank you Amy Winehouse. I love my new word. Even if I don't love what it describes.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Have you ever noticed how hott roofers are? And I do mean hott with 2 t's. Seriously. I've always gone for the smart guys. The funny, smart guys. But suddenly I'm realizing how insanely attractive a man who physically labors is. Men who can fix my leaking roof. Hott!

God! How did I not realize this before?

Obviously I'm an idiot.

In other news, DST is kicking my ass. And now with the weather acting all manic depressive I seem to be fighting yet another sinus thing. I do not like the fighting of sinus things. On the one hand, the children had the day off of school last week, Tuesday to be exact, because of the extreme, bitter -25 with windchill cold. Yesterday, also a Tuesday, it was 60 degrees. This turn of events makes me very happy even while causing my sinuses to plot my death. Unfortunately, as I mentioned the Mother Nature is feeling very unstable and while she is currently feeling manic in a mere 2 days time she is expected to plunge back into her depression.

I'm hoping the roofers manage to finish the job before the depressed mother returns as I like the stripping of clothing that the sudden heat wave has inspired. That and I have great hopes that none of them plunge to their deaths when the cold, ice and winds return. Also, a finished roof would make me greatly happy. Look! A roof that doesn't leak! Is it even possible?

Friday, February 23, 2007


In a move of bored desperation I updated my blogroll. For real. It's amazing how out of date it was. If you get bored, check it out!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Nothing to See Here

So I sent the husband away by air yesterday. I couldn't bear the thought of him driving by himself, at night (tends to fall asleep), with no book on CD (library was closed Monday). Instead I sent him to the airport with a book. I'm guessing he made it alright. I don't KNOW because he didn't call me like I told him to. Last I spoke to him, he was in Philly between flights.

Can you tell work is slow? My boss has been out sick all week and I have run out of things to do. In fact, after this I'm going to back-up/clean up the computer, water the plants and grab a bite to eat. I'm nothing if not BORED OUT OF MY MIND. *ahem*

Update people! At least that will give me something to read while I sit here.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Still not back

It's all an illusion. I'm totally not here. Not writing. Not complaining that life is spinning out of control. But I do have more bullets! Aren't you glad. *cough*
  • The husband has scheduled help with the roof for March. As in, four weeks from now. He's lived in this area his entire life. He should know by now that March means Mad Angry Rainy Snowy Hell. And yes, I realize I used an 'S' instead of the 'C' but I couldn't come up with anything else. Back off.
  • The birth certificate has not been found. I searched for an hour this morning. Not only was it not where it belongs, it was not in any of the eleventy million piles of crap residing in my house. The best part? When I informed the husband of this news, I got the impression he would try leaving the country anyway. So I mentioned "they" have been saying he won't get back into the country so please for all that is good and holy and my sanity, please do not do it. Then he laughed.
  • And then? I killed him.
  • He says he will send for us when he must remain in Canada for the rest of his days because this country won't let him back in.
  • My husband, he is a joker. I can tell he is also planning on ignoring me and traveling to Pontiac, Michigan by way of Canada. Maybe it is just his way of getting out of fixing the roof.
  • Regarding the search this morning, it caused me to be late to work. It also caused me to have a near panic attack because of all the piles of crap in my house. I'd like to go home with a giant garbage bag and toss it all. Without looking at it. But I know that I can't do that. Things might be lurking in the piles. Important things. Things we may need one day. Things like our birth certificates which I will surly find the moment he leaves the country.
  • In other news, my youngest needs glasses for reading. Not a high stressor but a stressor none the less as he is not used to them and he will probably need them tied to a string to his wrist so he does not lose them.
  • Another of my children is trying to kill us with the willfulness and tantruming and the being extremely difficult about everything. Everything like getting dressed and going to bed and putting on pajamas and brushing teeth and eating and breathing. I may just duct tape him to his bed and soundproof his room.
  • A couple of weeks ago I received an e-mail from a Big Name Children's Book Editor. One I've had contact with in the past. One who was not impressed with my work. But suddenly an e-mail with her name attached arrived in my inbox. I saw it was regarding a manuscript I had never heard of. It was also addressed to a Big Time Children's Author whom I happen to know has a daughter that shares my first name. I also happen to know they sometimes collaborate on books together. I will admit to not letting Big Name Editor know immediately about the error. I read their correspondence (about 3 e-mails - apparently I was the only one who noticed the error) before doing the right thing and notifying the BNE of the error. It was a sad surge of hope that died a sudden and painful death. Sometimes fate is cruel.
Now I must get back to work. Nothing to see here. Move along. I'm not really here.

I'm not really back

I know. It's been a month and nary a word. In fact, yesterday I decided to toss out my blogging title and was trying to decide if I should just leave it up, abandoned, or delete the whole thing. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew if I gave it up I would be back here typing. I'm not sure why I do that. The rebel in me just can't give up. As long as I recognize I'm giving up, I'll be back. You now have confirmation of what a freak I really am.

I shall now taunt you with the "things on my mind that I must get out or go mad". Starting from the present and working back...

  • This morning I was woken at a bit after 5am (A!M!) to say goodbye to the husband. The one who is leaving for Michigan after work for a job. He's suppose to be back late tomorrow but he is driving to Michigan by way of Canada and the Great Lakes in February. February. Let's let that sink in.
  • I proceeded to lie in bed and noticed a distinct dripping sound. As in, dripping into my bedroom (or so I thought).
  • My husband returned looking for his birth certificate. No, we don't have passports. Not because we wouldn't love to travel to another country but because we can't even afford 6 passports, never mind travel expenses. Besides, trips to Canada have never required them but now, now I must budget in passports. I have a year to get them all. Well, to be truthful, I'm guessing more than a year since we have no immediate plans for a trip north next year but if we don't have them, we'll need them. Anyway, no birth certificate. I must locate it and bring it to him this afternoon after work.
  • Husband also assured me the dripping was from outside as the wall is dry. I'm still guessing the drip in onto my ceiling in the attic and it is only a matter of time before it gives way and I have a flood in my room.

  • ~side note of importance: Today is the first day in several weeks the temperatures have exceeded freezing. We have also gotten between 2 and 3 feet of snow during this time.
    ~another side note of importance: We have Spring plans for a roof replacement. One that the husband will be doing with help from any and every willing body as we do not have NINE GRAND to hire someone to do it. Although in the plan? We were only doing the porch roofs because I am afraid to let the husband on the very high main roofs since he has a habit of falling off ladders and such and the main roof is very steep and many, many feet above the ground. The roof above our bedroom is not a porch roof.

  • I found evidence of yet another freaking mouse. I am tired of the mice. They need to leave now. The body count this winter has been high and I'm ready for the death (and constant cleaning) to be over.
  • I have a child that has "fuzz" above his lip. FUZZ. I'm not ready for fuzz. He has also been having a growth spurt and every day insists he is taller than me until I prove him otherwise. Every. Day.
  • I have another child that asked, "What is puberty?" When asked why he was asking such a question he replied, "Beacuse XX* said he was starting puberty." Now it is of great interest to the questioning party what exactly is happening to his older brother. I'm guessing so he will be prepared for when it happens to him. Each individual detail gets reported to me. I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. KNOW. Really. I don't.
  • The sports schedules are killing me. KILLING ME. And baseball season hasn't even started. GAH!
Must get ready for work now...
*to protect the innocent. Although, I'm sure it is obvious.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Newbery Honors

My friend, yes really, my friend was awarded a Newbery Honor yesterday for her book Rules. She was also awarded Schneider Family Book Award.

In case you were wondering, "The Schneider Family Book Awards honor an author or illustrator for a book that embodies an artistic expression of the disability experience for child and adolescent audiences."

Now I must admit, I was not surprised at all. Thrilled, YES! Surprised, no. You may remember me telling you all about it back before it was even published. And again a month later when I had read the ARC's (advanced reader copies) she had sent me.

If you'd like to check out her blog, you can go here. She tells all about hearing the news. And, you'll be able to tell how fabulous she really is when you read her daily musings. She is not only a phenomenal writer but a cheerleader for other writers, a fabulous critiquer - insightful and kind. She is just a wonderful, kindhearted woman in every respect that you would all love to have as a friend.

So, go, buy the book and enjoy!

Friday, January 19, 2007

I Didn't Get Here By Luck

Oprah makes me hate her now and then.

I know, how can I hate Oprah? And maybe hate is too strong a word. Maybe she annoys me or causes me to want to punch her but not exactly hate.

Why? Why, you ask.

Because she says things like, "I don't believe in luck."

She doesn't think she's lucky. She thinks she worked her butt off and that is what made her the richest woman on the planet. But every day millions of people work their butt off and the majority of them don't earn 1/nth of what she does.

People make us believe that if we find what we love (which, hello?, not that easy for some of us) and we work really hard at it and don't give up? We will succeed.

I say, there are many, many people who work hard at what they love and never succeed. And I don't mean succeed to be making billions of dollars. I mean succeed in the sense of making a living that you can actually live on. I don't mean being on television or in the media. I mean making ends meet. Sure you can do what you love and have a regular job. And if you can manage that and make ends meet, great.

But I'm sure she was not the only hard-working woman applying for the jobs she applied for throughout her life. She was beating someone out. And each time she got the job, someone else didn't. And really? There is room for only one Oprah out there. Isn't there? Honestly?

Oprah mentioned recently that Bill Gates thinks he's lucky. He thinks he worked hard and managed (luck) to get the breaks he needed to make it big. I agree. (Oprah does not. She said so.)

I also tend to think that some writers get lucky. There are fabulous books out there that deserved to get published. Fabulous books out there that are published but deserve more recognition. And yet, they're not. I've read amazing manuscripts that for one reason or another didn't get published. Reasons like there was a cat in the story and the editor's cat had just died so she didn't have the heart to work on a book with a cat in it. (True story) You may ask why then if it's so great didn't another publisher publish it. Well, there are also countless stories of fabulous, award winning books that were submitted to 8 billion (ok, I'll admit, a bit of an exaggeration here) editors before someone would buy the manuscript. Shall I mention Harry Potter and all the editors that turned that down? Maybe they liked it but didn't think it would sell. Maybe they were in a bad mood so everything they read that day sounded like crap. Maybe it wasn't their cup of tea. Maybe their cat had died. There are 8 billion (no exaggeration here) reasons why they didn't want to buy it.

When I say someone is lucky I don't mean they don't deserve what they get, because they usually do. Oprah totally deserves what she has. So does Bill Gates. So do most writers out there. (Come on, you're telling me you never read a book that had no business being published?) Luck does not mean you didn't work hard and deserve what you reaped. It means the opportunity presented itself for all your hard work to be recognized.

And as an artist, whether you are a writer or painter or photographer, etc, sharing your work with the world is an opportunity not all of us are granted. Creating is the passion but sharing is just as important. Maybe not for everyone. Maybe some people are happy just producing their work. Maybe it's just me.

Would you be happy writing something that no one would read? Would you be happy putting your photos in a shoebox for your eyes only? Are family and friends enough of an audience? Or do you need someone else to appreciate your work? Maybe we don't NEED someone to appreciate it, but does it make it seem sweeter when someone does?

What is this need for approval? And am I the only one who has it?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Let Go Already

In a classic blogger move I had a great post in my head that evaporated when confronted with the white page of doom. (Also known as a blank posting page.)

I keep getting up and trying to retrieve it. Work a bit and get it going again but alas it seems to have vanished.

In my typical fashion I shall bore you with a bit of stream of conscious and see what happens.

  • Mother Nature is mocking me.Really. The ice has lasted THREE days so far on the trees. THREE DAYS. It never lasts that long. Especially while sunny. I've gone back to carrying my camera everywhere and yet, it's sunny while driving and the second I pull the car over the clouds roll over the sun. I'm afraid to try to get the shots I want now and have decided I don't deserve the new camera because if I did I would do something bold like skip work to photograph the amazing sights around me.Seriously, when the sun hits the trees just right it looks like they're made of glass. An entire world of glass. If I saw it in a movie or a painting I would never believe it. Looks like Mother Nature has taken to the world of cgi. It may be one of the most beautiful things ever and yet when I try to capture it - I can't.

  • I need to update my blog template but just the time it took to fix my archives caused outrage in the MoMMY household. So, unless I plan on forgoing sleep for a few days, it's not going to happen. And since we all know I'm not one to forgo sleep... well, not happening.

  • I also need to decide what I'm doing about my photography "business". I use business loosely. Very loosely. I'm thinking of shutting down the cafePress shop and even though I've talked about shutting down my website, I'm just not ready to do that yet. I'm not sure why, I guess because I hang on like a dog with a frickin' bone. Good lord, let it go already MoMMY.

  • Speaking of letting go, still can't quite let go of the whole writing thing. The stuff I was writing and submitting a while back is languishing in a file box and on my computer and I can't seem to do anything with it. I'm obviously not a writer. I can't even manage to write on my blog anymore and yet I can't quite put that dream away. I will repeat, Good lord, let it go already MoMMY.

  • Maybe this should be the year for letting go.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Mother Nature

The sun, the ice, the beauty of it all almost made me cry on the way home. And no, I'm not premenstral.

What did I do? Rush home, grab the camera, quick change of clothes and ran out the door.

As I drove down the street the clouds came in, the snow started flying and the world darkened.

I chased the small bit of sunlight in the distance. It was that beautiful. I had to capture it. As soon as I stepped out of the car? Clouds, snow, darkness.

So I went home. And 30 minutes later? The sun was back. I stepped outside with the camera and the clouds rushed in.

When the sun showed itself again I grabbed the camera and made due out the front door... then the clouds rushed in.

Damn Mother Nature.

Monday, January 15, 2007


Why do people who drive SUV's and trucks think that when it is pouring rain, less than 32 degrees, foggy and the world is a giant icicle that it is okay to exceed the 65 mph speed limit? Why? Does their 4 wheel drive have superpowers? Does it? Because honestly, 4 wheel drive or no, an icy road does not care and it is me you will be sliding into.

In Other News...

After being sick for FOURTEEN days, I am feeling much better. Not completely cured but a million times more like myself. YAY!

Winter Has Arrived

I've been wanting winter to rear it's ugly head for the last couple of weeks because, hello?, hundreds of dollars spent on various things to allow the oldest two to ski this winter and there has been NO SNOW. Barely a flake. Not even cold enough for the slopes to make their own. The slopes have been CLOSED. Not just down to one or two runs but completely CLOSED all month. So yes, I've been wishing for snow for January and February. Then it can totally go back to 50 degrees and I'll be happy.

Then winter arrived yesterday. A winter of freezing rain. Two days now of freezing rain, icy roads and my ancient Maple tree about to split down the middle. The branches are touching the ground as I type. I'm just happy the kids already had today off and I had child care in line or I might have been screwed. Because we rarely have snow days for snow. They are usually for ice. Like the inches of ice that are now covering every exposed surface. Pretty? Yes. A pain? Yes. Dangerous? Double yes. I'm waiting to hear the power went out as we speak. (For those who don't experience ice storms - ice coats all the power lines and drags them to the ground, breaking them - or tree limbs fall from the weight of the ice and snap the frozen lines. Think sump pumps not running and power outages and mass chaos for days to weeks. Yes, weeks.)

Ah, the ice storm. Such a harsh mistress.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


  • I was on my way into work this morning and thinking about how I really wanted to get back to blogging. I decided I would do what I have done in the past and not allow myself to read any blogs before I wrote. That way, I would write because I really need to find out how you're all doing. Then I started drowning in my own mucus and felt like I was lead and trying to keep my head above the water so I could breath. And then I died.

  • Wait, no. I didn't die. Yet. I did however abandoned my work and read all your blogs. I did not write one itsy, bitsy word.

  • But here I am trying to make up for that. I'm sure you're all so glad. Or not.

  • Mucus be damned.

  • I really need a nap.

  • These are the worst bullet points ever.

  • How does anyone watch 24 without a huge bottle of Tums?

  • There is still discussion going on over a new camera. Amazingly enough: Husband - for camera, Me - against. Something is not right in the world.

  • I really think I'm dying. Or getting a sinus infection.

  • Why do I get sinus infections at least once a year? When I was a kid it was strep throat 2x's a year. College it was bronchitis 1-2x's a year. And now sinus infections. Why God? Why?

  • Must remember B12 shot today.

  • Why is it when you feel crappy everything you try to do breaks, doesn't work or turns to absolute shit?

  • I still have not found out why the doctor's office called to remind me one of the kids had an appointment. I have no record of an appointment and no idea why he would have one.

  • It is almost time to go home. Thank God. My jammies are calling. Do you think it is acceptable to pick up children from karate in your pj's? And does it really matter what the other parents think when I feel like this?

  • Almost forgot, I've been a big proponent of De-Lurking week in the past. And yes, I do think it's a fun idea. I also love how people like Beth and Zoot are donating to charity for all of their comments. Grand idea. However, being in my current (dying) state, I will not be taking the time to say hello to everyone I read. People! I'm barely posting. And I read most of you through Google Reader (oh, how I love thee). If you see your name in the blogroll, then know I read you even if I never comment. And, if you want to de-lurk here? I'd love to hear from you. Otherwise? Don't worry about it.

  • Hello. Nice to meet you.

2007 rocks!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

It All Comes Down to $

The cold, it lingers.

And there have been many times I've wanted to blog lately but had no access to a computer. When I have access, I don't have the time. It really is aggravating.

To keep with the new tradition of crappy in 2007, I spent last night at our local courthouse. Seems my vehicle inspection expired back in October and I never noticed. Even though technically the vehicles are someone else's "area". Still, I drive it and I didn't notice. The policeman did though. The good news is that I got off with just the mandatory fee. The judge let me go on the actual fine. Still, FEE.

The other thing was it was intermittently interesting. The kids (and they were definitely kids) brought in from prison because of parole violations. The kids with lawyers and parents that were obviously not there for simple traffic violations. It made me realize that "Dear God, may I never have to accompany my child to court." It is an experience I never want to have. Now, I'm sure some of those cases were childish misbehaving and some, I'm sure, were more serious. Ugh, I'm so not ready for the boys to grow up.

DJ was pleased that I did not have to go to jail. He was a bit worried.

In other news...
There has been discussion about getting me a NEW and IMPROVED camera. I've been asked to do some photography for actual pay but I need better equipment. No really. I can't do what I've been asked to do with what I have. The other side of it is that I won't be making enough to cover the cost of a new camera & lens. If I did then I'd say, "let's do it!" But no. I don't know how much I'll be making but I do know I won't come close as they are more in the "favor with some compensation" area.

I'd also like to ask for a raise. A big raise but I'm scared. I don't really know how to go about such things and I don't know how to figure out what I should be getting for where I'm working and what I'm doing. This is mostly because I don't have a specific "job". I do a bit of many different things. I'm not a web designer but I do web design. I'm not in accounting but I do the budget reports. I'm not an administrative assistant (what do they do anyway?) as I'd have to be full time and salaried. My official title is Special Projects but it's not something you can look up online and say, "Oh, here is what other people doing what I do make." I don't even know if there is anyone else in this company that does what I do.

When I was hired the salary was discussed and it was decided that after we figured out what my responsibilities were to be and if I could do what needed to be done (remember, never had a "career" and had been home for 5 years) that it would be renegotiated. The thing is that my immediate boss is the one who did my 6 month review and is not the same person who discussed my salary when I was hired (she wasn't even my boss then). So who do I talk to? My new boss isn't comfortable hiking my salary and I don't know if I should jump above her to the original person who discussed it with me. Suggestions?

Accepting all suggestions, advice, donations for a new camera etc.

Friday, January 5, 2007


Still not dead.

Just not having a very happy 2007. In fact I have a very bad feeling about this coming year. So, haven't wanted to share a whole lot.

Now don't worry. Nothing terrible has happened. Nothing to fret over. Nothing to pat me on the back and tell me it will all be okay. I just came down with the coughing, stuffy head thing it seems everyone has. Started New Year's eve and has just worn me out.

So. To a wonderful 2007 for you all. May it not be crappy.

Oh, and resolutions? To make it to 2008.