I'm sorry about the content of my blog as of late. As much as I have tried to write something a tad more interesting, it seems my brain has decided to join the body on vacation.
I will tell you about Speedo Man. Speedo Man was at the JCC pool on Sunday. As we all know Speedos are illegal unless you are European or an Olympic swimmer. This man was neither and really should have been apprehended by the fashion police. I was not about to make a citizen's arrest because, well, would you want to approach a middle-aged man in a Speedo?
Anyway, back to the story... Speedo Man was playing with his daughter, a cute 2 year old in a becoming pink bikini that shifted with each trip down the mini-waterslide. Alex & Tyler were shooting Zach & I with the water canon. The water canon is perched on a platform along with the top of previously mentioned mini-waterslide. I glanced down at Zach and heard a man's voice booming across the pool and looked up to see Speedo Man hurling himself through the water toward the platform. His daughter was sitting on the platform crying. Tyler was looking stunned and scared. Speedo Man leapt to his daughter's rescue and bellowed at my son. Now I can't tell you what he said. As loud as it was - the pool was louder. We are talking 30 people, 20 of which are under 10 and water spraying and shooting everywhere. Unless someone is yelling directly into your ear, you will not hear anything but a kind of white noise.
Again, back to the story... Many things are running through my mind at this point. One is, "Stop yelling at my son." Another that quickly followed was, "What did he do? I know he did something. He was probably not paying attention. Does he really deserve to be screamed at by a stranger in a scary, too small bathingsuit." And finally, "Hey! That's my kid you're yelling at!" What I did/said was - Run up to the platform (a scary sight I'm sure), grab hold of Tyler and hug him. Ask him what happened and check little girl for blood. Tyler starts crying hysterically. Now I must reassure him and glare menacingly at Speedo Man. The glare must have worked because Speedo Man is now concerned for Tyler's wellbeing. All the while we are now in the center of water spraying and shooting and pouring. I can't hear ANYTHING but my son sobbing. I'm trying to convince him the scary man isn't angry. He was just worried about his little girl. Everything is fine. He didn't mean to scare him. Tyler informs me everyone is angry at him. Now I must reassure him that no one is angry.
Well, I have no recollection of how he became distracted. (I did mention my brain seems to have gone on vacation and it was 2 days ago.) All I know is - he recovered. Speedo Man and his daughter recovered. All was well... until I told the story to my husband later that night and he is now hoping to run into Speedo Man before we leave St. Louis. We have been going to the pool every day (except today) so the chances are good. What are the chances he'll forget? Okay, we all know nil. Because even if he forgets, if he sees a guy in a Speedo, he'll remember real quick.
Warning to all St. Louis men in Speedos - Just say Board Shorts - at least until Sunday.