Friday, May 5, 2006

Letter to the Parenting Gods

Oh ye parenting Gods, I apologize. I'm sorry. I take it back. I shall never say I do not worry about any of my children again. Really. I promise. Just please put them back the way they were.

Wait, it seems you have. The one that went off the deep end yesterday? He is fine today. Fine. Nothing wrong. Nothing to see here, move along.

While I, I am a mess. I'm about to break down in tears at any moment. The stress of his outburst last night just about killed me. For real. He was leaving and not coming back. He was not going to school, he was not coming home. Ever.

Now this may be cute when a five year old says it but when an eleven year old who walks to and from school says it? Also, when he is not screaming it and instead is saying with a calm determination? It is scary.

Why all the drama? I'm not even sure. Something about the baseball game not going well. And possibly a thoughtless comment by someone. He was ready to quit the team, quit the flute, quit anything he's involved with because it is just too much. I think he was trying to quit the family too but I wouldn't let him.

Oh, then he threatened his brother who got scared enough to PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. Yes, my sweet boys threatened each other and then one of them punched another IN. THE. FACE. Which only caused the punchee to threaten to kill the puncher who then was afraid to sleep in the same room or even BE in the same room as the punchee. Death threats were flying - and we do NOT allow death threats in this family - parents were becoming raging lunatics because of said death threats, screaming was occurring, tears were flowing. It was ugly. It was late. It was never-ending. And it was exhausting.

And then everyone went to sleep in their own beds and woke up all sunshine and roses. Except me. I want to sleep for a week. And cry. But first I have to get everyone on the bus.


cursingmama said...

We went through a very scary outburst last summer with Gameboy. Very Scary and sadly very similar. I have no advice for you; I feel each family dynamic is different and quite honestly you didn't ask for advice. If our situation had been during the school year I would've gone into school and talked to our schools psychologist; and quite frankly if something that scary ever happens again I don't care what time of year it is, thats what I'll do. But, you obviously are a different person in a different family - so, I simply hope that you find peace with the incident and that you never have to face another one like it.

Rachel said...

Oh, wow, what a night! I'm glad everything seems to have blown over for now.

Tami said...

Oh Heidi! That does seem like a stressful night. The fact that he opened up to you and actually SAID those things instead of just holding it all inside or worse yet doing them, is a very, very good sign (IMO). He feels comfortable enough to tell you EXACTLY how he's feeling . . .

I can remember my brother threatening to run away from home. He very calmly packed a bag, added a package of cookies, and then walked out the back door. I also remember wanting to scream at my mother "ARe you just going to let him go?"

She watched out the back window as he reached the woods, took two steps into them, before turning around and coming back. She heaved a huge sigh of relief.

TxSkatemom said...

was it the moon? Elder Child was suspended from school thursday, but the note said he was expelled. In any case, it was not a pleasant evening at Casa Skatemom, and the thunderstorms that rolled through overnight were nothing compared to the fights we'd just had. It was bad enough that we took DinoBoy over to grandma's for the night -- he didn't need to be around all the tension.

Does it help to know that you're not alone? I have no solutions (if I did, I'd try them myself!), but I wish you peace.

Sheryl said...

Lord, I am not looking forward to preadolecence.