The good news is I've been managing to pull myself from bed by thinking of the neglect to my oldest should I fail to send him off. I have managed to get the children shoved onto their buses and the youngest to preschool before I start to flail about, clueless as to what I should be doing next. The children are clothed and fed and have their homework done and checked. Beyond that I'm pretty useless.
I've been planning a trip to the grocery to acquire actual food to use in the dinner making process for about a week now. I somehow have not managed such a trip in more days than seems possible. (side note: Thank you Mom for bringing milk this a.m. The children were able to eat their cereal and get at least a speck of their nutritional needs fulfilled.) I mean usually I'm there every other day or so. I do at least one huge shopping a week. Not been happening.
Anyway, back to today, I'm out picking up the little one from preschool and decide to go to the store while I'm out. Because, let's face it, I'm not going out again unless I'm dragged. So we go to a store I'm not used to shopping at because they have a certain salsa that I've craved in the past and think it may entice me to eat something besides chocolate. I'm driving down the road and I actually start to panic about shopping. The whole thing seems way too complicated. Too many choices. What am I suppose to be buying? And how will I face all those choices? It's all a bit overwhelming. I'm thinking of turning around and just going home. But this is GROCERY SHOPPING. Come on people. I LOVE grocery shopping. This is an almost every day activity for me. For YEARS.
Zach & I sat in that parking lot while I tried to convince myself it would be fine. I wrote down a couple of things I knew we needed and that's all I had to get. Yes, I had to give myself a peptalk. How pathetic is that? We'll just leave if it gets to be too much.
Shopping is going fine. Oh no, Zach has to poop. NOW. He already went a bit in his pants. I'm standing in the bathroom practically hyperventilating. Need air. I've dealt with this scenario a million times. I have FOUR children. They have all done this eleventy million times. Not a big deal. We could just go home. But no, I shamed myself into staying. And shopping. I mean really... go home because shopping is too overwhelming? Sad. So sad. I'm afraid they're going to take away my mothering license. Or my shopper's club card.