Tuesday, February 8, 2005


Oh Splenda, I thought you were my friend.

You were the ultimate alternative to your evil twin, Sugar.

You made my Fruit2O oh so yummy. You sweetened my coffee without that chemical aftertaste. You helped my cookies taste so yummy. Banana bread, fruit, you sweetened it all. You were my savior on my quest for weight loss. You were the 'natural' solution.

And then...

I discovered your true colors. I discovered YOU were the reason my complexion turned into a teenage nightmare. A complexion like none I had ever experienced.

I gave up coffee in my quest to discover the source. COFFEE! The nectar of the Gods. But after an agonizing month I learned it was YOU that caused the outbreaks. I found that one product with you in it will result in an outbreak before the day is done. It is YOUR fault I wanted to hide my face from the world for the last year and a half. Yes, it took that long - that much horror - to reveal your true nature.

So now we all know that YOU, Splenda, are the evil twin. Not your sister sugar. I now embrace your sister like never before. And I shun you and all your yummy products.

So beware good public of the one they call Splenda. It may be the cause of all that pains you.

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