Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Weight-loss Story #2

So yes, my vow to not discuss weight loss has been broken as all new year-type vows should.

The subject this time?

My ass again.

See my ass? It is rather large at my rather large weight.

But before? Small ass.

No, I'm not bragging. Just wait, you'll see.

My weight gain starts in my face. My face people! The absolute worse place to gain.

Head shots? Nasty.

What is the one part of your body you look at every day in the mirror if for nothing more than to brush your teeth or apply a bit of lipstick? Your face.


I'm continuously confronted with the fat. The fat face. The fat neck. Yes! I gain weight in my neck! I know, you're so jealous right now. You too wish you could gain weight in your neck and look like a wrestler.

Anyway, I have now lost the 5 pound bag of flour. And where did I lose that weight?

My face?


My neck?

Hahahaha. I know you're not fooled. That would be a no.

My ass.

Even better is that instead of making it more narrow? The bag o'flour has slid off my backside.

So now?

Wide, FLAT ass.

Attractive, no?


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