Dear Mr. Dylan's 2nd grade Teacher,
Please stop calling me.
Please stop saying, "We have a conundrum. We couldn't find Dylan's glasses in his backpack today. We don't know what happened. He seems to have forgotten them."
Please stop telling me it would be beneficial for him to have a pair of glasses to keep in school.
Please, for all that is good and holy, stop making me tell you he has an eye appointment in 2 weeks and will get another pair of glasses AFTER his appointment. Unless of course, you would like to spend $200 on a pair of glasses now. A pair that you admit will probably not be strong enough.
One last thing, STOP CALLING ME before I reach through the phone and strangle you.