Things my 13 year old said to me this morning while I took him step-by-step through the process of preparing dinner:
13: Do I have to touch the raw chicken with my hands?
Me: No, it will leap into the pot all by itself. You're just there to watch.
13: Do I put the chicken IN the crockpot?
Me: No, place it AROUND the pot. It cooks better that way.
This may have made my day.