Wednesday, March 25, 2009

What's on my mind?

Nothing profound. It's a little of this and a little of that and well, it would bore you to tears. This would be why I haven't written in a while.

Today I have decided to write anyway. More as a chance to write then to write anything specific. Below is a list! With bullets! Fun for all!
  • Work has been busy as my immediate supervisor has been out.

  • The second to last Life on Mars is on tonight.

  • I've been knitting, knitting, knitting.

  • The oldest needed cleats for baseball.

  • ZJ needs new laces.

  • DJ has been complaining his heel hurts for over a week now.
It took me this long to realize the pain DJ has may be related to the sneakers he's been wearing. So last night it was off to Famous Footwear after dinner. 1 pair of cleats, 1 pair of sneakers, 2 sets of laces and two sets of heel cushions seemed to fulfill everyone's needs. (buy 1, get 1 1/2 off sale = LOVE)

Being out of the house right after dinner also helped with the other thing that has been on my mind for the last 9 days. It kept me from eating. I guess the truth of the matter is something has been on my mind more than usual lately. Something I'm hesitant to talk about here. Something I'm trying to not talk about much at all. (trying not to jinx any progress I've made)

Yes, I'm trying to lose a bit of weight. Something happened this past year (I have no idea what) and now none of my clothes fit me. It's to the point that I must take it very seriously. The last time I succeeded in losing weight was about a year after the youngest was born. That would be 8 years ago for those of you not wanting to do the math. I used weight watchers on my own and got down to a weight I hadn't seen since my freshman year of college.

Not to say the clothes I wore when 20 pounds heavier fit me because - oh hell no. The skirt I wore on one of my first dates with the husband - the skirt I wore at 20 pounds heavier - still didn't fit. Seems the children spread my hips, ribs and pretty much anything else that is spreadable.

Still, I'm hoping I have the right state of mind to win the war yet again. And the one thing I have learned in all my 38 years is it is all about state of mind. Nothing more.

I'm hoping winning the war, or at least a couple more battles, will help with my exhaustion and muscle fatigue. It's one of those circles of hell. Can't exercise because of exhaustion and muscle fatigue, have more exhaustion and muscle fatigue from carrying too much weight. Basically a lose-lose situation. So I'm modifying my diet.

As always, tracking is key. And GOOD GOD do I eat a lot. Well, did eat a lot. It once again is forcing me to look at the choices I make when I eat. And, it forces me to look at how much I eat. Should I repeat? I EAT A LOT. I eat enough on an average day to support a professional athlete. Ok, I'm guessing there but seriously - FOOD, how I love thee. It amazes me how little I can live on. I kind of wish I was six feet tall just so I could eat more. Being 5'1" means I need air, 2 bites of chicken, a sip of milk and an apple to live on. My body cannot burn a pound of my favorite Carbonara. Or even a forkful for that matter. Let us just say SUCK.

So now you really know what's been on my mind. I'm not going to give you numbers. Not yet anyway. Maybe sometime in the future when I change my mind as I am apt to do. No numbers and no planned progress updates. Just obsessive filling out of my journal at everydayhealth.

What's on your mind?

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