Friday, March 18, 2005

R.I.P.

MoMMY passed away earlier today when the excessive amount of snot caused her head to explode. When her family found her there was mucus dripping from all surfaces and large puddles of it on the floor. A haz mat team was called in to clean it up.

The coroner’s report suggests the unusually high number of times MoMMY had been sick this winter as contributing to her death. He believes previous illnesses weakened the sinus walls and produced many small cracks in her skull. This last illness just added the right amount of pressure to trigger the explosion.

Unfortunately this could have been prevented. The lack of nearby reading materials, and the fact the television and computer were both turned off should have signaled the direness of the situation. The computer people! It was OFF.
Comments by the family were as follows: 
Her husband, Jeff: “If she had just called and had me pick up more cold medicine last night. I could have stopped this.” 
Her 8 y/o son, Tyler: “I told her she looked sick last night when I got home from gymnastics. Why didn’t she DO something about it?” 
MoMMY’s mother, GosMMY: “It is nice to know that she was resting peacefully on the couch. We bought that couch right before she was born and she has always snuggled up on the magical sleepy couch. It’s comforting to know they went together.”
Yes, it’s true. The couch could not be saved as she was sleeping on it when her head exploded. Prevent this from happening to someone you love, watch for the signs. The computer was OFF people.

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