I really don't want to whine. Really. I also don't want to complain. I'm serious. I was taking stock this morning trying to figure out what I could write and well, I thought back to last night. Last night and the realization that right now I'm going to hell in a handbasket. And what that phrase means exactly? I have no idea. But I do know I don't have my shit together.
Financially we are running out of time. I do not have a job. The one I was kind of counting on told me I would hear from them on Wednesday. Told me 'unofficially' I should expect the call from HR. The call never came. I told myself HR might be behind. I'd hear something Thursday. No call. I know if I don't hear by the end of today that it's over. The last interview I went on Monday? No word. I'm thinking that it's not good. What does this all mean? Stress. Big time.
Weight wise? Well, let's see, stress = eating my body weight in food that is high in fat, sodium and chocolate. So the 13 pounds I had lost? Down to 10. So now my sponsor has been paying for me to gain weight. I don't think that's what she had in mind when we joined weight watchers. The worst part? It's all my fault. The stress that gaining is causing? IS ALL MY FAULT. Makes you feel good, don't it?
I know there are lots of good things happening too or at least things that aren't going badly but right now I'm kind of blinded and strung out about the bad stuff. And that my friends makes me look even more self-involved and pathetic than usual. I really need to get back on track. Can I wait until after the boob smash this afternoon? Please?
**EDITED TO ADD: As for the boob smash, please check out this link. As much as I want to skip it and all, I really think it should be available to women. Let your voice be heard.**