Thursday, February 2, 2006

The Good, The Bad & The Avoidance

The good news is that yesterday was uneventful.

I had to go to a meeting for work (which I totally did not need to be at) and kept expecting the phone to ring to tell me of a near drowning (at swim lessons) or gymnastic injury that required a hospital emergency room. Luckily, there was no call. Or unluckily as the meeting was quite dull. I'm still not sure why it was indicated that I needed to attend - but, whatever. My job still rocks.

The bad news?

At the present moment there is no bad news. Here's to hoping it stays that way for more than the next 10 minutes.

The Avoidance?

My household to-do list is growing by leaps and bounds as I've been frittering my days away dealing with crisis and such. Also, more frittering of time as I'm apparently trying to avoid working on my goals of kicking my photography career up a notch. Yes, I set a list of things I need to do to try to take a step in at least one direction. I figure if this one doesn't go well I'll have to switch my attention in another direction. But still... avoidance.

Why?

Good question. Do we really want to examine why I'm avoiding this? Will it help me get my butt in gear? Maybe. So, let's begin the journey into my not-so-stable mind...

Or we could just skip it. Well, you can skip it. I shall delve in.

Step one: Call woman about possible show at local college (where I'm an alum). She suggested it back in - well, I don't remember when - but months ago. Said it was something she might be interested in doing. There are many details I need, to pursue this. And? What if she has changed her mind? Then all other steps are unnecessary.

Step two: Contact local arts council and fill out forms for a grant to produce actual work for exhibit. Because I can't afford to do it on my own.

Step three: Prepare for exhibit.

Now let's see... why am I avoiding this? Could it be because I don't want to prepare for the exhibit? No. I enjoy that work. Could it be getting the forms from the art council? Probably not. I can most likely do this online. Gee, could it be the fact I need to call and speak to a woman about my photos and risk rejection? I need to actually do this on the phone. Now, I don't have a phone phobia but personal rejection that is not in a letter or e-mail? ACK! At least with the letter or e-mail you can collapse in the privacy of your own home. On the phone? I'd have to keep speaking. I would have to know what to say. I never know what to say. (Yes, I talk a lot but I don't ever know the right thing to say.)

I must go breath into a paper bag now...

No comments: