Thursday, March 31, 2005

Chicken Pox Update

I have found out chicken pox show up 10-21 days after exposure - usually 14-17 days. It is now day 15 and no sign of the pox. I did have a dream this morning that he came down with them. Keep all fingers crossed.

Dinner Conversation

You now will all see how juvenile I really am.

Tyler had a potato science day at school last week. (Please do not ask what exactly this is. I have no idea - other than what I will mention here.) Each child had to bring in a potato and weigh, measure, and do other things to it that I am not privy to. One thing I do know is they had to name their potato.

Tyler came home after school that day with... Dick. When asked why he named his potato Dick he replied, "It's a big, manly name. Just like my potato."

I was not allowed to cook Dick because he was Tyler's "friend". Until yesterday.

Tyler requested beef stew this week and agreed to let Dick be peeled and cut up and put in the stew. He even watched me make the stew. He named all the potatoes put in the stew. There was Dick (of course), Ricky (the most annoying kid on his bus), Joey, and Samantha.

At dinner last night I had to listen to conversation about the various potatoes. It went something like this:

"I'm eating Dick right now." 
"Mmmm, Dick is good." 
"I'm eating part of Dick right now too. He's sure good." 
"This is Samantha. She is the sweet one." 
"She tastes sweet and soft." 
"Mmmmm, more Dick." 
"Joey tastes good too." 
"This piece with the dark spot must be Ricky. He went bad." 
"Mmmmm, this Dick is so good."

And on and on for about 20 minutes. I couldn't even laugh. Why, you ask? Because then I would have to explain WHY I was laughing. All I have to say is Thank God Jeff wasn't home yet. I never would have been able to contain myself if another adult had been present. It still makes me laugh just thinking about it.

I told you I was juvenile.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


Does milk chocolate count as a serving of dairy?

Easter, Spring & Updates

I'm finally coming out of my sugar coma long enough to post. The last few days have been a feeding frenzy of jelly beans and chocolate. Oh, and the kids have already eaten all the Peeps. You'd think the bunny had brought more Robin's Eggs the way they oohed and ahhed over the Peeps. (but of course the bunny had EATEN all the Robin's Eggs BEFORE Easter)

In a crazy haze of Robin's Egg over consumption the bunny and her helper hid 83 eggs. EIGHTY-THREE. All filled with candy and gum. At the current time 2 eggs are still missing. 18 of the original 83 eggs were hidden outside. This was made possible by a burst of spring-like weather and an enthusiastic helper.

This spring-like weather is resulting in rain, mud and diminishing amounts of snow. It also has resulted in many small green things poking up out of the previously mentioned mud. I believe they are called leaves. Leaves from which flowers will sprout. I will hold all expectations until I see the proof. It is still March and I do have four youngsters running around the yard periodically. Youngsters that have been known to trample small, delicate things.

In a chicken pox update: It is day 12 since exposure. There is no sign of any pox or illness in exposed child. (Although at the current time there is excessive whining regarding his use - or lack of use - of the computer.)

In a future-profession update: Tyler is apparently going to be a defense attorney. After being grounded on Saturday he has spent every waking hour pleading his defense. It is now day three and he is approaching the problem from new angles. He is still whining about the lack of electronic use allowed. He is now given to actual reenactment and roll-playing of the situation leading to his punishment.

"You be me and I'll be dad. How would YOU react?"

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Spring is Springing

I know it is only March. I know Mother Nature is just waiting to show me who's boss. But, I said BUT, after the three inches of snow we got on Wednesday night I went out Thursday afternoon and saw this...

And, in further good news... I went for a walk today without a coat. WITHOUT A COAT! And if you can even stand one more bit of good news? It is suppose to get up to 70 degrees by Thursday. We haven't seen 70 degrees since October. OCTOBER.

Could Spring really be on its way? Will it really snow again? Those are the eternal questions. Ones I will have to answer yes to.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Easter Candy

I'm still up to my armpits in parent/teacher conferences and book fairs and preparing for Easter. And now, I said NOW, the school has thrown in two 1/2 days and two days off of school. So I have loads to do and I must do it while children fight and make messes and demand my attention.

The good news? I bought the candy during the short time everyone was at school today. Lots and lots of candy.

You may all point and laugh and call me names now. Do it! I have put back on two of the five pounds I lost. After today I am expecting to weigh more than when I started. Why you ask? Why? My all-time favorite candy is now residing in my kitchen. I have already eaten enough of it to make me ill. I'm sure I'll be feeling better later though.

What is this mystery candy you ask? The kind you can only get at Easter? ...Peeps? Who said that? NO! Ewww! I HATE Peeps. ...Cadbury Eggs? Who are you people? Eww again!

Robins Eggs. Full size. Made by Hershey. Only. Mmmmmm...


Do NOT buy any substitutes. The other day I could not find any 'real' Robins Eggs and I bought, **gasp**, the horror, Malted Eggs by Necco. NEVER DO THIS. They are repulsive. The candy coating? Like some kind of frosting. The first one I ate made me gag. A few minutes later I thought maybe it was only because it wasn't what I was expecting. A bit like drinking oj when you're expecting milk. So I tried another. I repeat, NEVER DO THIS. The frostingish coating is hiding a spongy malt center. Not hard like it should be. No hard, THIN candy coating. REPULSIVE. So bad I gave them all to the children after they sat in my car for THREE DAYS and I didn't eat a single one. They were THAT BAD. Candy within reach and I didn't eat it. And in the car no less which we all know means it doesn't count. (OBSCURE RULE: Any food eaten while driving does not count. It is like it never happened. Even better if wrappers are hidden or disposed of immediately.)

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

She's Alive!

Yes, I'm alive. Somehow they put my head back together like Humpty Dumpty. It's not pretty walking around with a giant egg wrapped in duct tape on top of my shoulders but at least I'm functioning again. Life has seemed to speed up this week. I'm sure it's just to make up for the fact I spend several days dead. Can't be dead and not expect to have lots of stuff to catch up on.

Has anyone else noticed Easter trying to sneak up on us? I'm so not ready. And I have NO. TIME. TO. SHOP. Not even for CANDY. What is Easter without candy? I need enough to fill all those little plastic eggs. And by all I mean about 60. Yes, we hide SIXTY eggs in this house for the children to find. They are coded by size and degree of difficulty depending on age. It is a very complex system. I'm not sure I'm up for it. I'm not even sure I'm up for buying the candy.

All that candy. I tried to sneak some in the cart yesterday while grocery shopping but apparently Zach has reached an age where his candy radar is fully developed and it doesn't get by him. And have I mentioned his memory? If he sees it once he will remember for life that I put it in the cart and now the Easter bunny has left it. Or rather, we will get home and two days later he will want to know where the candy is because he wants to eat it. NOW.

One last thing, you may have noticed there was no Favorite Photo of the Week last week. Well, that's because I was dead. Remember? Dead. Hard to photograph and post when you are dead. There was only one photo and if you want to see it you can go here.

Must go get ready for errands and trips to the mechanic and teacher conferences and visiting with relatives from out of town and more teacher conferences and book fairs and... and... and...

Friday, March 18, 2005


MoMMY passed away earlier today when the excessive amount of snot caused her head to explode. When her family found her there was mucus dripping from all surfaces and large puddles of it on the floor. A haz mat team was called in to clean it up.

The coroner’s report suggests the unusually high number of times MoMMY had been sick this winter as contributing to her death. He believes previous illnesses weakened the sinus walls and produced many small cracks in her skull. This last illness just added the right amount of pressure to trigger the explosion.

Unfortunately this could have been prevented. The lack of nearby reading materials, and the fact the television and computer were both turned off should have signaled the direness of the situation. The computer people! It was OFF.
Comments by the family were as follows: 
Her husband, Jeff: “If she had just called and had me pick up more cold medicine last night. I could have stopped this.” 
Her 8 y/o son, Tyler: “I told her she looked sick last night when I got home from gymnastics. Why didn’t she DO something about it?” 
MoMMY’s mother, GosMMY: “It is nice to know that she was resting peacefully on the couch. We bought that couch right before she was born and she has always snuggled up on the magical sleepy couch. It’s comforting to know they went together.”
Yes, it’s true. The couch could not be saved as she was sleeping on it when her head exploded. Prevent this from happening to someone you love, watch for the signs. The computer was OFF people.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Tonight's menu:
  • Corned Beef
  • Green Mashed Potatoes
  • Leprechaun's Gold (corn)
  • Green milk
Music to live by:
  • Dropkick Murphy's
  • Flogging Molly

Mission Complete

The child has been exposed to chicken pox. Now we must wait. He was a bit hesitant but since he loves to play with Libby he got over his shyness. I'm hoping there were enough germs transferred to start the incubation process. For good measure we had the little boy of the house suck on Zach's water bottle before we left.

Zach proclaimed as we were leaving, "I didn't get the chicken pox."

hee, hee. Let's just wait 10-14 days and see.

I on the other hand woke with a sinus headache. I think I've been more sick this winter than any other. EVER. WTF? I'm a bit tired of all the illness.

The good news? Tyler's mono is gone. Strap throat appears to be gone from Dylan & Zach. Alex seems he@lthy. Now if everyone could just STAY he@lthy until the much awaited outbreak of chicken pox.

PS- Some weird thing is happening causing words to become links I don't want. Not sure what is going on so I've put them in disguise. (I feel like such a spy.)

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Today is a Good Day (So Far)

I'll start with my morning...
I descended the stairs to find my slippers waiting for me at the bottom. All set-up for me to slip my feet into. The dishwasher had been run. My juice was poured. Even the curtains were opened. My oldest was ready for school. All I had to do was sign his notebook.

When I opened my e-mail I found what I have been waiting 4 1/2 years for...
Someone I know has a kid with chicken pox. So tomorrow I will be taking my youngest and rubbing him up and down said child in hopes he will contract the disease. Really. I'm not making this up.

My oldest two caught the itchy disease at the young ages of 2 and 9 mos. I've been trying to get the other two exposed so we can avoid the vaccine. I just can't see having them get it then have to get a booster every 10 years for the rest of their lives. Okay, I can make them go at 15. But what about 25? I have never met a 25 year-old guy who would go get a booster shot. I mean come on. And chicken pox is so much worse to contract as an adult. I say let them get it while they're young.

I will concede that my 6 y/o got the vaccine at the age of 4. He has asthma and since everyone is getting the vaccine and no one actually GETS the chicken pox anymore (and when they do they refuse to tell me so I can expose my children - they all think I'm joking) I was advised to have him get it. Besides, he was getting ready for kindergarten and it is practically required nowadays.

I have been holding out hope for Zach though. And YAY! that I did. And YAY! that I have a friend who took me seriously and offered up her youngest. So now we are planning the big Contagious Disease Contraction Day tomorrow.
I told Zach this morning that I was taking him to catch chicken pox tomorrow. 
He looked at me askew and said, "So I'll be all itchy?" 
And I said, "Yes." 
And he said, "And I will take a bath?" 
And I said, "Yes, with oatmeal in it." 
And he looked at me all askew again. Then he asked where his Oreo for 'O' day was.

So wish me luck. Tomorrow is an important day in the MoMMY clan. Tomorrow I try to have my kid catch a contagious disease.

**Side note: Can anyone tell me why if you catch chicken pox you are never suppose to get it again but if you get the vaccine it wears off? Not getting this.

**Little known fact: I got the chicken pox THREE TIMES! Yes, I am a freak.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Evil Yarn Update

The baby sweater will no longer be made with the evil yarn. I somehow dropped a couple stitches and there is no way to see what you are doing with the bumpy evil yarn to pick them back up. (even in all its soft loveliness)

So? I had to rip it all out. And the yarn broke. And I went on-line and bought some new non-evil baby yarn. Not pastel. A blue denim blend of baby soft goodness. YAY for on-line yarn stores.

The evil, soft loveliness? Going to become a sweater for... ME. Made with BIG knitting needles. (Much easier with big needles) And most likely made by my mom.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Evil Yarn


No, this is not becoming a knitting blog. But I must vent. Why oh why do I make things so difficult? It's all me. I know that. What has happened is something I do all the time.

Last night I went to the store to buy some yarn for the proposed baby sweater. My mom gave me a pattern and all I had to do was find the yarn. As I'm looking at all the baby yarns in their white and pastel colors I am saddened. WHY must it be pastel? I'm just not a big fan. Then I spot it. The most beautiful yarn. All soft and lovely. In with the baby yarns. Oh, how can I resist?

I checked out every yarn in the place. It is the yarn I MUST have. I buy too much but it is okay because I want to make myself something with the soft loveliness.

I pick up the kids on the way home and show my mom the yarn. A look of concern passes over her face. "It's not really baby yarn."

I go home, put the kids to bed and pull out my yarn. I pull out the pattern. I pull out my new how-to book. The one that explains all the abbreviations and terms. (I have mentioned I'm a newbie to this, haven't I?) I pull out the #3 needles my mom loaned me.

I start to knit the gauge square...

Oh Lord in heaven! What the hell? Who made this yarn? What were they thinking? It is evil. Soft, beautiful, EVIL. It should come with a warning. Really. The warning should read:


So, I pulled out the beginnings of my gauge square. And then I started to knit. What you ask? Why? Have I mentioned the soft loveliness? It is SO BEAUTIFUL. The sweater will be beautiful. (Assuming I can actually knit it.)

I came close to weeping. Twice. For real. Once because of the evilness. Once because of the beauty. Now you all know. I will endure anything for the beauty. I can't help it. I have considered getting regular yarn and beginning again. I can't seem to do it. Not to say I won't relent. Or never finish the sweater. It's a good thing it is sized for 6 months. The way it's going it will probably fit a one year old. That gives me 15 months to finish this thing. I think it may take that long.

Sigh. Why do I always have to make things so difficult?

Thursday, March 10, 2005

My Week

Since last week's goal update:

  • One kid getting over mono
  • Two kids with strep
  • Eleventy million trips from couch to kitchen & back (with juice, water, medicine, etc.) 
  • Two trips to the doctors
  • Lost 5 pounds
  • Did yoga for strength and pilates (advanced level pilates- except for modified roll-ups)
  • Kept sink clean, planned meals for the month, kept up with the laundry
  • Had a photo shoot in the kitchen
  • Discovered new downfall to diet - cinnamon almonds - yum! 
  • Got concussion when youngest slammed his rock-hard head into my chin while I was picking him up
  • Applied for two more jobs
  • Applied for writing grant
  • Finished knitting a scarf
  • My first knitting project EVER
  • Knit a gator
  • Stayed up too late
  • Got a flower from a stranger

Wednesday, March 9, 2005

Kid Quote

ZACH: "I will squeeze the jelly out of your eyes if you don't let me do what I want."

Tuesday, March 8, 2005

It's Impossible...

... to exercise when two kids with strep are home all day.

10 Things I've Done (That You Probably Haven't)

  1. Crushed my hand in a door. It was flat as paper. Nothing broken.
  2. Almost drowned. Twice.
  3. Was an au pair at 15 on Fire Island.
  4. Spent an evening in a piano/gay bar in NYC listening to a guy sing a song about being a transvestite (dressed in men's clothing). Tony Bennett's daughter also sang.
  5. Was kicked out of Grand Central Station (by the police) at 3 a.m. while singing Lean On Me with harmony.
  6. Moved across country by myself. Just because.
  7. Dreamed about someone for years and then met them.
  8. Put together a gallery show of my photographs. (and survived the opening)
  9. Met my husband, got married, had 4 kids & 2 houses. All in 7 years. (before I was 30)
  10. Read a book while being prepped for surgery.

I did it! Ten things. Some more unique than others. I still believe... I'm too dull for words.

Monday, March 7, 2005

Open Letter to Zach Braff

Dear Zach Braff (oh, yummy one with the luscious lips),

I just wanted to tell you that I watched Garden State recently. I have been looking forward to seeing it since I first heard about it. I'm not sure why exactly, but I love you on Scrubs and I was intrigued.

Not what I expected. At all. But? My verdict? I loved it. Really. One of the best films I've seen in ages. In fact, I just watched it a second time last night. And if my sister-in-law thinks she's getting it back (it's her's) she is wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. (At least until I get my own copy.)

Santa brought the sound track for Christmas and although I enjoyed it, I didn't appreciate it until after I viewed the movie. The amazing movie. Now I'm addicted to the CD. I have to be careful when I listen to it because it makes me want to... be 'close' to my husband. Yes, it's true. I find all the songs on the soundtrack - intimate. What exactly does that mean? I can't say. Rather, I don't know how to explain it. How did you manage to find so many songs with that same feel?

I also watched the movie for a third time with your and Natalie's commentary. (Yes, I am a geek and watched the movie twice in a row last night.) I just want you to know that I love you. You are so romantic it makes me weep. If I were younger, beautiful and single I would try to make you mine. You are my first pretend celebrity boyfriend.

BTW, great name. My youngest is named Zach.

(not your Mommy, but me, Mom of Many Male Youngsters)

Thursday, March 3, 2005

It's The Goals (AGAIN)

It seems boredom with one's self was rampant yesterday. Glad I wasn't the only one.

The good news (for me) is, I looked at my goals and felt so depressed that instead of baking cookies I actually took action. The bad news (for you) is, you must see this goal list again. So here for your viewing pleasure (or rather my need to make myself accountable) are my re-evaluated goals:
  1. Get a job at my employer of choice. (I'll let you know where and why if I ever get a job there)
    I'm throwing this goal to the wind and applying for a job that is NOT at my employer of choice. Mailing it out today. Think good thoughts.
  2. Sign a book contract/re-evaluate writing career.
    The new deadline for re-evaluating my (non-existent) writing career is June. Right now I'm entering contests. I have a conference in May and THEN I will re-evaluate.
  3. Begin a baby book for my FOUR-year-old.
    Getting closer.
  4. Organize my photos so I can update the kids' albums.
    My photos (1997-2004) are now chronologically organized. It took a couple of hours. (yes, really - HOURS) But THEY ARE ORGANIZED!!! Now to separate for each child. Also, the job is much easier as I have no photos from December on. This is due to the arrival of my new best friend... my digital camera. The bad news is I must now figure out what to have printed and actually GET the photos printed. Then I suppose there will be more organizing to be done. Gah! This however will wait until I've made progress on the photos I have in hand.
  5. Possibly even update said albums.
    Getting there. (Possibly some time in the next millennium.)
  6. Stay on top of disaster we call our home.
    I have rejoined Flylady. Sad that I need e-mails to tell me what to do but, it's true. And it works. So, Flylady... do your stuff.
  7. Do more with my children.
    I'm not perfect.
  8. Not yell so much.
    Medication is helping with this.
  9. Take more photographs.
    Have I mentioned all the SNOW? and my imperfection?
  10. Lose weight.
    Because of the recent weight gain I officially start WW again today. Yes, it's true. I even WROTE DOWN my breakfast points. I'm fat and it's time to do something about it. I'm hoping writing it here and reminding you all occasionally will hold me accountable.
  11. Exercise more. (that means any little bit will count.)
    Must do yoga today or you will all LAUGH and POINT and CALL ME NAMES. (Really, do it.)
So, that's it. Oh, I do have one more goal. That is to think of something interesting to write about. I can't keep boring you like this or you will leave me. Then who will shame me into reaching my goals? And tell me, how are you doing on your goals?

Wednesday, March 2, 2005

Goal Update

Since it is the beginning of a new month and I have not been giving any thought to my 2005 goals, I thought it was time to re-examine them. Horror is sure to follow:
  1. Get a job at my employer of choice. (I'll let you know where and why if I ever get a job there) Not yet. Not even an interview. 
  2. Sign a book contract/re-evaluate writing career. HA! 
  3. Begin a baby book for my FOUR-year-old. HA, HA! 
  4. Organize my photos so I can update the kids' albums. Hurting myself with the laughter. 
  5. Possibly even update said albums. Not even funny anymore. 
  6. Stay on top of disaster we call our home. Little bit. 
  7. Do more with my children. Nope. 
  8. Not yell so much. I got ONE! 
  9. Take more photographs. I was doing okay. Not so good this week. 
  10. Lose weight. How about gained 3 pounds. 
  11. Exercise more. (that means any little bit will count.) Haven't in 3 weeks. 
I was right. The horror. Now I just feel worse. Where are those cookies? What? No cookies in the house? Maybe it's time to start baking again.

Still Snowing

Yes, it is STILL. SNOWING.

I did snowblow the driveway yesterday. Now instead of a foot of snow there is only 4 or so inches. But, it's still accumulating.

The plow KNOCKED OVER THE GARBAGE CAN & RECYCLING BIN this morning. My poor hubby had to clean it all up as it was ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF THE DRIVEWAY and he couldn't get out for work. Sorry for all the shouting but GARBAGE. EVERYWHERE. at 7 a.m. is not a pleasant thing. (Thanks for cleaning it up Jeff!)

Not much more to report. I haven't been taking any photos as there is nothing but SNOW anywhere and I'm tired of photos of snow. A bit of green would be a nice change. It is only March though and that means a potential of snow for THREE MORE MONTHS. Not consistent mind you but still, it has been known to snow on Mother's Day here.

Hopefully I will have a more thought provoking or at least entertaining post later today. Right now it seems it's all about the snow. and more snow. and yet more snow.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005

Still Snowing

It has been snowing since before I woke up. At 6:30 this morning. It has not stopped. At all.

Now I must go out and snowblow the driveway so my husband can return home and help with the children eat a delicious dinner prepared by moi. Now, I've used the snowblower before. Last year. This time I am hesitant. I'm not sure why. It's easy enough. But still, procrastinating and looking forward to it like a trip to the dentist. Ugh! Is there anything you put off doing/using even though you know it's not hard?

Nothing exciting going on here. I was waiting to blog this afternoon assuming I would have some wonderfully funny blogging material. You see, I got my hair cut today. I had to bring Zach and we all know he loves to entertain. But no. Other than his non-stop talking to the hairdresser nothing happened. What does it mean when your 4 year-old can't supply you with blogging fodder while spending an hour at the hairdresser's?

So, other than a much shorter 'do' and a need to recolor my hair RED (the color is growing out and fading - as it should, it's semi-permanent - less roots for my lazy ass to deal with)... nothing to report.